Posted in my thoughts, Parents, tips & tricks, Uncategorized, WOW Stuff


my mother split with my father and moved us back to Maine when I was about three. My dad remarried and when I was ten had another daughter. My little sister was my favorite person, I didn’t see her much but it was love at first sight! My step mother was amazing, she would brush my hair and braid it for me, she taught me how to play piano and about so many things in the short time I had with her. I only saw them in the summertime and it was never long enough. I had a baby brother come along and shortly after that my dad and step mom split up. It was the end of my visiting and I lost connection with my siblings. Facebook brought us back together and my amazingly talented MMA fighter brother made it to my wedding. That started it all. I needed to see my sister after that and I new my dad was 80 and not that healthy anymore so this past weekend we had a road trip! It was five hours one way and since my oldest Jacob was home from college for thanksgiving break we got to bring both my boys with us. We left Friday after David got home from work , stayed at the hotel that night and started sat fresh to see my family. I was nervous and excited and scared all at once! I’m the one out of four who is not a major athlete, mma, boxing, running, my three siblings do it all,  My sister is my brothers MMA coach! I’m the black sheep,  my success is my sons and staying alive. They have tons of accomplishments and still going. Ok, but, I was still family. I got to see them both, meet my brother in law and my two nieces, got to see my dad and see my step mom again with her husband who took great care of them all growing up. It was amazing and comfortable and emotional. After about an hour of being at my sisters, my brother took off with my two sons and my brother in law stole my husband. We belonged. We decided from now on it will be a yearly thing. I will not loose them again. I got to tell my step mom how much she had actually meant to me and the influence she had been to me. That felt amazing. I felt like I had family for the first time in my life. I don’t really fit in with my mother and older brother here in Maine and just never felt like I belonged. Now, I know that I do belong, not just as a mom and wife but as a daughter and sister and aunt! The empty black hole that has been inside me for as long as I can remember has closed up quite a bit and I think it’s only going to get better from here on!

Posted in my thoughts, Parents, Shared, Uncategorized

New light

In the past eight months exactly sept 1, there have been so many drastic changes in my life. All for the better in one way or another.

I met my soul mate, again.

We bought a house

We moved in together which means a new town and new school, all new streets and neighbors.

I was diagnosed with cervical cancer to add to my list of health issues.

They removed all the cervical cancer!

Learning to DIY everything from windows to floors to lights and faucets!

I have never had my own yard nevermind an acre! !

Getting married in one month and 14 days, doing almost all of it ourselves.

My life hasn’t been the worst but I have seen my share of horror and evil in this world and believe everything in my life has been preparing me for this, my happy ending.

I struggled to be a disabled mom and dad to my son’s who I wanted to grow to be healthy and happy young men going out to live full lives as adults and not feeling the need to compensate for what they didn’t have as boys. A father, money, a home and a mother who wasn’t sickly. My focus has been on myself and my family mentally and emotionally for so long that once my older son left home for school, I felt a little lost. My other boy is 14, 6 feet tall and full of confidence as to who he is. That’s when David came into my life after 25 years. I realized he was gods way of saying,” it’s ok to find love and let go, be happy, let all that work pay off,” and that’s exactly what it has been like for 8 months.