I look at the other blogs I find and follow and see so much wisdom and beauty in pictures and words and also so much pain. I feel like a sponge always searching for more to absorb in self- health, metal and emotional health and sometimes I have so much to say that I can not say a word.
I have lived through every kind of abuse as I climbed up the ladder to mental health. I have had a “normal” childhood but found myself one screwed up person. I have grandkids who deserve so much better than what they have and live each day knowing to save them I would have to loose them due to my health not being good enough to care for them myself. But, is that just what I tell myself? Is it really me using my health as a crutch? Is my health even as bad as I think it is or have I just convinced myself it is?
I procrastinate like crazy, I would even say I am lazy. At times I do nothing and accomplish nothing in my day. My life changed completely finding my soulmate and he loves me as I am. He works his butt off to give me all he thinks I should have. I have survived but never actually lived. I was a hobbit only leaving my house when I had to, but was it because I was just to lazy to take a shower and care to a point about my appearance? I did this for years, I mean like ten years of wasted life.
I have so much to explore in mental health still. I know we can never stop growing inside and have found I actually enjoy psychology and reading about just how we work as people.
I also have piles of stuff and pages of ideas of things I want to make and create. My house is still not together yet. We are always working on it. At this time I have no kitchen. So much but at the same time nothing.
This is me today.
Happy Valentine’s Day all!!!
Love for yourself or love for another
It’s love we celebrate today
If you have followed me for a bit you would here now and again about my best friend who has bipolar. We have gone through her manias, people taking advantage of her in her manic state, and her multiple manic episodes in the past year. I have learned a lot by reading and talking to people about the illness. My girl went ten years with out an episode but then her father died and started a roller coaster of episodes. When her baby daddy died it just got worse and it has been not only hard on her but her three boys as well.
This time is the depression and it is completely new to me, I have never had any experience with this and it’s pretty scary. I went to check on her and she is not her, lost weight, staring off and not really even answering any questions or acknowledged I was there. She went in to the hospital last night and her dr was supposed to come in and see her this morning to give her a shot of some kind to help her come out of it. I can’t imagine how hard it must be for her kids to have to see her going through this.
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If I looked back a few years or more the person you would see would not be me. From physical, mental and emotional abused relationships always with narcissist men , to realizing I needed to change myself for my kids sake and then the journey back to being at peace( mostly) with my self, I have come a long way. I still think of the years I spent hiding inside my safety of home and letting life just slip by. I wasted years and years like that. I still would rather be in my house but I love myself now so it’s different. It’s not easy asking for help, getting into therapy and staying with it but I know with out a doubt it saved me. I still deal with narcissist people, and I try to remember they really are not doing it intentionally, or don’t even realize they are but it is not easy.
By Dr. Perry, PhD “Logic will get you from A to B, imagination will take you everywhere.” ~Albert Einstein In my professional life, I recommend to my patients that they practice a bit of time travel. I ask them to imagine traveling into the future and to make positive visualizations about the time to come. […]
via The Power of Positive Visualization — MakeItUltra™
This is regarding the man on the sex offenders registry that has been terrorizing our kids here in Maine taking pictures of them and then posting them on his social sites with crude and disgusting remarks. This man thinks sex with children should be legal!!!! We need help tightening the leash on these guys and not allowing things like this to happen. The police say they can do nothing because of his rights to photograph anyone in public.