Posted in House Remodeling, My Photos of Maine, my thoughts, organized, Shared, Uncategorized, WOW Stuff

Granite in the wall?


As we continue on in our renovations we decided to take the basement stairs down and remake them straight instead of with a turn.

We had to go through the concrete of the original house foundation and found it was packed with rocks! This made it very difficult to do so my husband had to rent a jack hammer!

My husband also finished taking down another spot since he had it already and that’s when I noticed a large piece set aside, he said he found it in the wall and it was granite!!!

It still has some brick stuck to it but I can only imagine how using granite would be cheap? I can see how the rocks would be, any market out there for rocks hundreds of years old!! Lol

Next we will rebuild these stairs to go straight down, then the second story stairs can be done the same way.

It’s such a slow process but it is coming along.

Posted in my thoughts, Psychology, Shared, tips & tricks, Uncategorized, WOW Stuff

Adult scoliosis


Years! I’m talking YEARS! I have dealt with a unbalance in my hips. I have had tests, and more testa but they never said anything about a curve in my back?? My dr confirmed it with old X-rays, old X-rays!

It started when I tried to lay on my back on my yoga mat, I put my knees up and my feet flat and it felt like I had a rock under my pelvic bone. It hurt like crazy and it was slightly on the left. After I got up it hurt so bad for the rest of that day.

So now it’s physical therapy for me, but it may help so we will see.

I don’t know anyone with scoliosis, how about you?

Posted in my thoughts, Parents, Shared, tips & tricks, Uncategorized, WOW Stuff

Feelings of emptiness


I was lost when my oldest son left for school, it had been him, his brother and me against the world for so long. We had gone through so much together, homelessness, loss, stability, over whelming happiness, from one end to the other. My boys where my best friends, and when one of them left, oh man.

Thankfully that was the same month my now husband found me again after 20 years. I made him wait two months before I was willing to go out with him because I was trying to adjust to my son being gone, not just find someone else to fill that void.

Now it’s been 5 years, my son has lived about an hour away since then, he has come home for the summer first then got his own place. I love coming down stairs in the morning to find he had been home and was doing laundry or wanted a place to rest before driving home. He has been with a girl named Blake now for, well I am not sure, a year, two years, around two I believe, and we love her to pieces.

Blake is good to him and you can tell he is just head over heels for her. Blake has gotten a job offer from Ralf Lauren in New York and a place in Boston. I know my son will follow her which ever job she chooses.

Knowing my son, my baby, will be moving out of state takes my breath! I want what is best for him, I am so proud of him and , like I said, I love Blake. I am terrified though, the big city, him being miles away from home, thinking about it makes every hair on every place on my body stand straight up!

I know it is inevitable, he has his own company and can run it from anywhere, makes enough to survive off and pay his way through school, but that doesn’t mean it will be easy to except.

My first love, my son.
Posted in my thoughts, Psychology, self-help, Shared

I am drug free!!! After 20 years!


I was put on opioids over 20 years ago for pain, I became addicted easily and the trials began. I guess I didn’t realize how addicted I had become, with my Addison’s disease, I’m tired all the time and when I started doing drugs they would give me energy, I could get up and clean the whole house in one afternoon! That was what I became addicted to, functioning.

Jump ahead a few years, now I’m in trouble. I have 2 kids and am terrified the state would take them if they find out so, I was introduced to suboxen. It was easy to buy it off the streets, then I moved and then it started all over again.

It became obvious to me I would need help so I bit the bullet and went to get it. 20 YEARS later, I was still on it. They told me I would never be able to get off it because of my immune disease, my body would not be able to handle it. I started going down by one milligram every like 6 months, give or take. The last part was the hardest, I went down to one milligram a day! Then I new it was in my head, I just stopped. I had to not think about it. Keep my self busy.

Now it’s been long enough that I don’t even think about it and I feel perfectly fine!! Sometimes I feel like I forget to do something, like I missed my meds or something, lmao. I didn’t count the days after a week because I knew I was good. I wish I could scream it to the world but, I had already told tons of people I was off so I didn’t have to worry about being robbed. My best two friends and husband have encouraged me and supported me the whole way. I thank god for them.

Posted in DIY, My Photos of Maine, my thoughts, Parents, Shared, tips & tricks, Uncategorized, WOW Stuff

Angelique tulips!!


I have not had much experience with gardening till I bought this land and started giving it a try. Things I have learned,

Don’t take clumps of flowers from anyone unless they are good with weeding. My mother in law has given me lots of plants and while I appreciate it I also have learned with flowers come weeds!! I have two different kinds that came from her garden that have totally taken over!!!

Don’t make multiple gardens unless you are prepared to take care of them all!!!

Use lots of mulch!

Starting from seeds is hard, bulbs on the other hand are pretty simple

Posted in my thoughts, Psychology, Shared

Like the New England weather


Sitting here I see it’s snowing, April 17 and it’s snowing. It doesn’t last long and the next thing you know the sun is out, but look out back and the clouds are black as night. The instant change , the difference so close but yet just a turn and it’s different again.

This is me, on one side I am bright and sunny, eager to live, wanting to get out and be in life, be healthy and active, but I don’t , I sit and watch, not sunny but not raining or snowing, just being. I want to start living life instead of just surviving.

I can do that easily enough when my husband is home but he works long hours and then has to sleep, so it’s not always possible for him to be with me. I have few friends and they are like I have been, stay home and watch life passing by. I don’t want to do that anymore, I need to be active and healthy, I want too, but how ?

Join a club, volunteer some place, meet new people, easier said than done.

So I sit, as it’s sunny and bright out one door but gloomy and cloudy out another, yet still, raining on one side.