Posted in my thoughts, Parents

Parenting Fail


I started therapy as soon as I knew I was pregnant. I was a messed up person, all my life I had done things I could not understand or explain, I was in the mental ward of the hospital once for a month as a teenager and it did nothing but mess me up more. I lied to anyone who would listen, always felt inside I was just made bad. I took the normal families teasing and messing around personally, and just didn’t understand why I felt so sad inside at times.

That was just as a teenager. I was 22 when I got pregnant. I had multiple abusive relationship and allowed myself to be bossed around and insulted, I couldn’t explain my feeling and turned to anger. I had just recovered from almost dying from the doctors not diagnosing my Addison’s disease till the last-minute and now had to depend on a little pill just to stay alive.

My sons father was an abusive one and an alcoholic who I went back and forth with till Jacob was a year old and we lost everything in a house fire. He went to jail for three years and I became free of him. I knew I had to work on so much to be able to raise my boy so he didn’t turn into his father or a serial killer!

I thought I failed till he turned 18 and literally flipped a switch. He had been caught shoplifting, drank and smoked pot, and I had to have the police take him to school many times. Now he’s 20. He is home for summer break from college which he got into and started from going to job Corp which used to be just were judges sent kids, but, he has his diploma even tho he had to take extra classes to get, he has a CNA license, an ECT license and personal trainer license, but, he is still completely inconsiderate, kinda selfish and seems to have no empathy. I know it could be so much worse but it is killing me! We have so much on our plates right now but he just ads more. Doesn’t seem to care or just doesn’t remember anything I tell him or ask him. I feel I failed him. We’re did I go wrong , what did I do, or not do to make him become like this?, especially since I am a “give the shirt off my back kind “of person….

Posted in kids and crafts and more!!!, my thoughts, Shared, tips & tricks, WOW Stuff

11 DIY Pendant Lighting Projects — DIY Projects Craft Ideas & How To’s for Home Decor with Videos


Brighten up your home in more ways than one with any of these stunningly beautiful pendant lighting projects. These projects are all made from recycled items and are all super easy to make–they won’t break the bank! 801 more words

via 11 DIY Pendant Lighting Projects — DIY Projects Craft Ideas & How To’s for Home Decor with Videos

Posted in my thoughts, Psychology, Shared

The 3 Tiers of Lying and How Well-Intentioned Lies Can Still Destroy Relationships — Must Be This Tall To Ride


How many times have you lied to people you genuinely love and respect in the past few days? If someone asked me that, I’m pretty sure I’d say “Zero! I don’t lie to people, but especially not to those I care about most!” And by doing so, I’d be telling another lie. I don’t think […]

via The 3 Tiers of Lying and How Well-Intentioned Lies Can Still Destroy Relationships — Must Be This Tall To Ride

Posted in kids and crafts and more!!!, my thoughts, Parents, Psychology, Uncategorized, WOW Stuff

How much more!


From my own personal experience, someone who was “cheated on” by there husband does not go have an affair with a married man.

In my opinion someone who is a parent, a good parent, can not say someone else’s kid should go with out the essentials to live , if it means anything less for them!

Someone who lies a lot to their kids, who constantly puts down the other parent to the kids, who does everything possible to try to make everyone and anyone think that parent is a horrible person, and gets away with it for years, is not just a pitiful, disgusting, selfish , sorry excuse for a parent, but for a human being!

The faith I have in Maine state department of child support, child abuse, the court system, all of it, has wavered so much lately, to be told the mental and emotional abuse of kids is unimportant because they are 10 and 12, shocked me. They can take care of themselves.

The thought that things will not be seen fairly for each family, his kids deserve it yes, but why does that mean mine doesn’t?

Please someone tell me, that these two boys are not going to be screwed up for life? We can only help them so much only having them for two nights a month, we want so much more time, please let the fathers rights be seen as actually equal as the moms. Joint custody means so much more than what we get, we have to fight and argue for school information, for special event information,

i am so tired. When will the world stop being filled with so many hateful people?Why aren’t the kids the most important thing?

 

Posted in my thoughts, Parents, Psychology

Never , ever, ever!!!


Never, ever, until you are no longer paying, throw away receipts that have to do with child support payments!!!!!!!!!

If your ex fills out papers claiming you have not paid in a year, it is up to you to prove them wrong. You need to have a receipt, direct deposit slip, something to prove at least eight out of twelve for anyone to even consider you are telling the truth. ( guilty till proven innocent) then , the ex can just say, oops, and that’s it. No penalty for lying, no, well maybe we will forget a week of owed payments, nope, nothing! Maybe she decided last minute it looked stupid complaining about three weeks behind.

It has been nothing but vindictive bs with this woman!!! But you all know how that works, when u leave a narcissist and find someone else quickly and become happy, that’s not allowed!!!!

Posted in kids and crafts and more!!!, my thoughts, Reviews, Shared, tips & tricks, WOW Stuff

Paper Rose Table Backdrop — My Creative State Of Mind


Roses are an elegant flower. Even more so when they’re LARGE paper flowers behind a dessert table! I loved making this gorgeous paper flower set. I hope you enjoyed this share. Thank you, friends! Please don’t forget to like and share this post. Join my Facebook Page over on the right column →

via Paper Rose Table Backdrop — My Creative State Of Mind

Posted in my thoughts, Shared

Monday Sew – Oh Boy What’s Up! — Sandra Johnson designs


I am published in the Summer edition of Simply Moderne. If you like what you see go out and purchase this magazine TODAY and post a picture so that I can feel the love. #sandrajohnsondesigns Whoever finds their life will lose it, and whoever loses their life for my sake will find it. Matthew 10:39

via Monday Sew – Oh Boy What’s Up! — Sandra Johnson designs

Posted in kids and crafts and more!!!, my thoughts, Reviews, Shared, tips & tricks, WOW Stuff

How to Bring Doodle Flower Background Stamp to the Foreground — Imagine Blog


by Jennifer Vanderbeek By definition and design, background stamps are usually the foundation of a piece, not the focus. In this project, I show a way to highlight an amazingly detailed Mandala style background stamp from Joy Clair with embossing and ink blending to create a simply beautiful card with the look of a rich […]

via How to Bring Doodle Flower Background Stamp to the Foreground — Imagine Blog

Posted in My Photos of Maine, my thoughts, Shared, tips & tricks, WOW Stuff

Help Maine


https://nrcm.salsalabs.org/opposenecec/index.html

oppose Central Maine Power’s (CMP’s) proposal to build a 145-mile transmission line from the Québec-Maine border to Lewiston because it would harm Maine forests and wildlife, suppress Maine’s renewable energy industry, and could actually increase climate change emissions, all without any clear benefit to Maine or Massachusetts.

Posted in My Photos of Maine, my thoughts

Gift


My husband made this for me as a late present for my birthday. He’s been working so many different shifts at the railroad and trying to keep up with sleep has had him off for a bit. Now I need to decide what to paint it with, but I already know we’re I will put it. Will update when it’s done so u can see!

Posted in my thoughts, Parents, Psychology, Uncategorized

Narcissist, psychopath, sociopath,


Both lie to the kids, both treated the men like crap, both are mentally and emotionally abusive, they are both evasive, manipulative and seem to have all the power they think they have.

I can’t think of another way to stress myself, frustrate and mentally exhaust myself then to have to deal with both of these woman on a daily bases!

David’s ex will try to only say or do anything when I am not around cause she knows I stand right up to her and give it all back. She has no concerns for her boys hearing anything cause she always seems to be able to make it our fault somehow.

When we had just moved and went to get the boys once , she was drunk and came over to the car to complain he wasn’t putting the child support direct deposit anymore, she said to him, “look at you, you are all, unkept,!” I popped my head up above the car on my side to be eye-level with her and told her that she didn’t need to worry how he looked , and I said,” I like his hair grown out like that and told him he should keep it that way. ” She replied in a very snooty way , with her hand going from her waist up into the air and with her son standing next to her, “Well why don’t you just go fuck him then!” Then after some days later we were told by the little one that mom had told them it was all because she had always wanted him to grow his hair out for her but he had always said no.

Now they have had the huge task of keeping her out of the alcohol and we can do nothing? They are old enough to call for help if they think they will need it. That was the response given to us my the state. So mental and emotional abuse are not actually considered a problem in the state of Maine.

My grandkids have seemed to disappear, I called the state and left a message that my grandsons school has not seen him in two weeks. We shall see how that turns out.

I have a great relationship with my husband, a dream like intensely easy, relaxed, open and perfect for us relationship. I have great boys, a new house that we are fixing into our dream home, so many good things going for the first time in my life but these two thorns in my side still manage to keep me awake at night, give me horrible thoughts of these kids futures and drain me.

I have through the years kept journals, diary or just a reminder note in my devices on stupid things my grandkids mother has done and now that I want them, now that it is time to start fighting, I can’t find any of them! I have a new computer, they must be there, somewhere.

David filed a motion to modify for his child support even tho since we did that his pay has gone back up , we are still pushing for all the other things we requested as well.

To have the kids every other week during the summer, to have her reminded she is to include and consult with him on things that concern the boys health and welfare in any way, to stop trying to turn them against him and , or, us! Some other things that she had a total fit over, he also has a very good medical plan that would save her a lot of out of pocket but has refused to allow him to put the boys on.

Since they made the order, he has a new job, a house with a mortgage and a disabled wife with two dependents. Normally a new wife and step kids are not part of the consideration but since I have no income we are. Normally he would be told it was his problem he has a mortgage now not his kids but I think considering my kids deserve to have a good life as well it will not be the same. We are now waiting for the court date.

I think hate is a strong word that I very rarely use but I really think I hate both of those people.

Posted in my thoughts

How to know


People come and go in our lives, some you stay in contact with and some you don’t. Some are always within reach, some become just acquaintances or someone you used to know. Last Sunday I found out that someone I was once good friends?, buddies, with, how to even define it now?, but he passed away. (We hung out as teens, have been in the same social circle since then, talked once in awhile on Facebook but he left state , we had a death in our circle way back when that made some of us closer for life and he was one of mine.) It was a shock to lots of people, then we found out the news report said he was homeless!!!?? As people started looking and digging into things he had been in a lot of trouble, had got in to cocaine, was arrested multiple times for varies things?!!? He was in Vermont and we here in Maine were just incredibly shocked as more and more came out.

Some things said was if anyone had known he was in such bad shape they would have helped him, but obviously he didn’t want us to know. If we had known we would have gone and got him and brought him home, but we didn’t . I understand his shame and not letting us know but how far is far enough? They have no idea what happened to him or how he died? He was only 45.

It makes me realize, we tell the depressed and the addicts to reach out for help, but what if they can’t? What if they are too ashamed? Do we just sit back and loose them forever? I never had a chance to even think maybe he was in trouble,

Posted in my thoughts, Parents, Psychology

Burnt out


It is one stupid idea after another, Im trying constantly to prove this and that are wrong, wondering how can they not see the damage they are putting on them?

Since David ant I got together his social path ex wife has done everything possible to turn those two boys against him. She started it the day they were born. The marriage was a sham, two years in he had his own room but she was a closet drunk so he stayed for them. Now he realizes how bad that was and her drinking has caught up to her. The drs said no more drinking at all. She is an alcoholic and coming home to her two kids. They want to help mom of course, so they are told to break any alcohol they see her with. Don’t let her drink. So now these two young boys are given the responsibility of keeping an alcoholic away from alcohol!

If anything goes wrong they will blame themselves! REALLY!!!!

In the same sentence nana says, they are all that matters, if she wants to drink let her it will be her fault not mine and they asked what they could do to help,

Then we have the grandkids stupid mother who has decided her new man is now the kids daddy, my grandson has been out of school for a week and when I try to ask I am told not to call back or she will put a pfa on me! My stepson is in jail so she is doing whatever she wants with those kids and along with her mother who helped her rob me a couple years ago trusting type and her bipolar self who knows what is going on. She has been a big balls of lies and more lies since day one, so many she will totally forget and not have a clue what I am talking about but when I sent her a screenshot of her saying it, I am the bad guy, I am the one whose is denied the kids for months.

Has the world always been filled with so many narcissistic parents?

Is that how the world got like this is it just keeps going generation after generation??