My Photos of Maine, my thoughts, Parents, Psychology, Shared, tips & tricks, Uncategorized, WOW Stuff

Time line…..


I can go back through my life and see every important relationship, event or experience is somehow, some way building up to the finale.

Things I learned in different relationships, reasoning as to why I was meant to have a son with an alcoholic, my battle with self worth and self sabotage, I truly believe everything happens for a reason.

To one day wake up and realize, I understand, I see why I went through this, I see my reasoning, it’s a mind blowing experience!

My life has been filled with , anger, pain, anxiety, depression, low self esteem and so much loneliness, I never felt like I belonged and went through life thinking something was wrong with me, mentally and emotionally.

Then I met my husband. I know it may sound, wrong , I do not define myself by having a husband, but I truly understand.

His ex is a narcissistic alcoholic who is mentally and emotionally abusive. His children have lived in this and through her need to make sure they depended on her and would never leave her, holding back love and evolving them into adult matters they could not understand. Her parents are enabling and he was secluded from any support of his own.

I realized with each relationship what mattered to me, in a partner and friend , in a father figure and even in physical features and characteristics.

To have an unending, completely reliable source of trust, love and support, someone who can connect the dots of my life for me and finally show me the finished or almost finished picture they make. It’s liberating to say the least.

Standard
My Photos of Maine, my thoughts, Parents, Shared, tips & tricks, Uncategorized, WOW Stuff

Proud momma


When my son first left for school I was lost, some of you helped by explaining your experience and I appreciated that. I wanted to show you my latest photo of my first born, looks so grown up! He is working in cardiology and decided he will stay with that in Med school. His girlfriend is a fashion designing major. I still miss him and cry when he leaves. I guess that will never change!!

Standard
My Photos of Maine, my thoughts, Shared, tips & tricks, Uncategorized, WOW Stuff

Seasonal depression?


It can effect even the happiest of people, like me. I always looked at my depression as selfishness, when I was unhappy. Years of being a single mother, no help at all in any way from dad, financially stressed, fighting constant illness, and trying to do my best for my boys mentally and emotionally to help them become great men.

To be depressed when I have never been so happy has thrown me off. How do you explain something like that to people who have never experienced it?

Thanksgiving my son told me he had to work on Christmas and didn’t think he could come home, I thought I would curl up and ball! I have never had one of my boys on Christmas morning and although I know it is inevitable, I am not ready. He got a later shift then expected so did come home ,till he had to work anyway.

I hope you all have had a Blessed and loving time this holiday season.

Jacob, (my doctor in training), Branden, (turns 18 on the 31), step son Cj, (has made me a grammie )and Ryder, (13 year old just moved in with us from abusive mother, aka, David’s ex wife)

Standard
My Photos of Maine

Wedding pandemic style


My niece had to uninvite guest to her wedding. Can you imagine?

She didn’t care about any of it, just wanted to get married. It ended up being outside instead of the church and the reception ended up being outside on a beach. It was beautiful.

This is my family. My husband and two sons.

This was the first time I can remember my family all being together. My siblings and step mom from Connecticut and my family from Maine all together.

Standard
kids and crafts and more!!!, My Photos of Maine, my thoughts, organized, Parents, Shared, tips & tricks, Uncategorized, WOW Stuff

Police attend party


State trooper, deputy sheriff, Damariscotta police department and the Boothbay harbor P D took time to attend an 8 year olds birthday party. He does a lot of appreciative gifts for these men and woman so they decided to give back! They ran around playing capture the flag and football with these kids for a couple hours and it was amazing!!!

Standard