Tag: Psychology

Posted in grief, Uncategorized

Angry

Posted on by queentracey1

I’m angry people keep telling me my husband is watching me,

I don’t believe it.

I’m angry because he’s in the box on my stand.

His urn is a box for us both

I’m angry he’s gone

I’m angry he got cancer

A rare kind for 70 year old men but he was 48

I’m angry I have to bring up this boy alone.

Im angry at him for leaving us even though I know it was not his choice.

Posted in Uncategorized

It’s been a year

Posted on by queentracey1

It’s been a year and a month since my love passed and I finally gave in and asked for help last week. I miss my husband like I would miss an arm or leg .

I got custody of the kid and his mother drank herself to death, making sure to tell him it was his fault, now’s he is legally mine not just a sep son. My boys treated him like it was a party. lol

I didn’t know how to pay any of the bills, I didn’t have any idea what we had for bills or what we had for investments.

I have been on the couch for a year and realized it was time to get up. I have an appointment with a grief therapist and got a new pill to take, (another is not a problem any more! )

I am starting to wake up.

Posted in Uncategorized

How to live again

Posted on by queentracey1

For the past year since my husband died I have gotten out of bed, gone to the couch and back to bed. I have tried to start to heal but every time something throws me back on the couch, COVID, eczema on my hands, something mentally or financially stressing me out. This is by far the hardest thing I have ever done..

My husband was my world, we had an epic loved every one who knew us talked about. We first met at 15, he knew I was the one right then and there but I didn’t. Through out the years we just missed each other many times and then he found me again on a dating app my friends put up. I made him wait a month and half before I finally said yes to going out but we text every day till then so I had gotten to know him well. I think I already had fallen for him but I definitely knew by the end of that night he was the one.

We had 6 years, 3 months and 9 days .

He was diagnosed with a rare form of cancer in January last year, he went in for a major surgery in March and never came home.

He insisted he was going to be ok, he swore God would not take him from everything he had ever wanted just like that.

I went for custody of my step son who already lived here with us because his mother was a drunk and I knew my husband would want me to, she drank herself to death in Nov. I won custody. I have been doing ok with cooking but he’s 17 this year so does a lot of it himself. I order groceries and just pick them up,

His one year anniversary is coming up and I still can’t breathe.