Posted in kids and crafts and more!!!, my thoughts, Parents, Psychology

My heart shatters more every day I do not have contact with my grandchildren. Their mother uses them as pawns and anyone who she gets mad at for any reason she takes them from. She has told them that their father does not love them and he picked his beer over them. I can’t bear to imagine what she told them about me!!! She is a horrible person and I do not say that often about people but I have been trying to put together a case for grandparents rights. They lived with me for over a year, always would run to me open armed and we had a very strong bond. Now it has been almost a YEAR since I have seen them and I just can’t believe it! She knows how much they love me , she knows everything but just doesn’t care. She puts herself before them and always has. She lost her first child to the father and if I bring all this stuff to court and they ask me I would take them in a heart beat. Even with all my issues I know those babies need someone to stand up for them. This week my little pickle will be 4 years old. I missed her whole 3 year , almost of time I can never get back. I’m so scared to actually loose them . I know I have been holding back because I am scared I would loose but I need to believe they would be better with me in there lives than not.

Posted in kids and crafts and more!!!, my thoughts, Parents, tips & tricks, Uncategorized, WOW Stuff

Tornado named Atlas


Reading a recent post from someone I admire made me realize I had not posted about my dog since we adopted him. Atlas was a rescue from Florida, very small and long with a head too big for his body when we met him, but he was our kind of crazy, so he became one of us. Bassadors are half Bassett hound and half Labrador, so short legs, long body! Bassett hounds are the most stubborn to train and he is almost two and still chews everything!!!He hates his nails being cut so has ripped one pair of my bed sheets running around going crazy and my hardwood floors have suffered the most!

At the same time with all the stress comes the love and unconditional friendship, he makes me feel safe when my husband is away, he has helped me with getting outside more and being able to leave the house easier on my own. He is ours and we may never be done with his training but he wants to learn and he seems happy.

Posted in kids and crafts and more!!!, my thoughts, Parents, Psychology, self-help

I am terrified


I have two biological boys, one is in college and the other is 16 , Branden, and lives at home with me and David. I have always counted on him to be the responsible one, he was the common sense of the two, I sent him with his older brother and friends so I knew they would be safe. He is polite, empathetic and cares for everyone. The only things I have ever been able to complain about with him has been his grades in school and his inability to keep his room clean. I know I caused most of his cleaning issues myself by getting tired of waiting or thinking he was doing something wrong, and doing it myself. I also know I always just pushed them to pass, not to do their best, I know everything we do and say to our kids or in front of our kids forms the adult they become.

Today I was hit with seeing my son was high. He had three friends over, I know they do not have the option to hang out other than school together, my son NEVER asks for anything, literally he has to think for days to tell me birthday and Xmas things he wants, so when he does ask I usually say yes, hence the three boys over. He openly told me one of them smokes pot and asked me if I would tell him he could not be friends with him, we had a discussion on pot then. No , his friend does not offer it to him, no , he is not stupid he saw what it did to his brother, he would not get in a car with someone but call me instead, etc, etc, etc. All the same things he has said most of his life. Then he went outside with his friends later that day and got high.

I am feeling so many things and I have a ball of emotions growing bigger by the minute growing inside my gut. I know teens try drugs , usually though it is because they are either , trying to fit in or because they are unhappy and it is a release.

I feel betrayed like I do not even know him, I feel lied to and played like a piano. I have the pamphlets and all the information on how to talk to your kids about drugs and how to tell if your child is high and so on, but , none of them prepared me for this.

I feel lost, I do not know how to handle this.