Posted in my thoughts, tips & tricks, Uncategorized, WOW Stuff

My world is shattered


I am trying to wrap my head around this all.

My husband has cancer
This is the procedure they usually do to take care of this type of mass
Posted in my thoughts, Psychology, Shared, tips & tricks, Uncategorized, WOW Stuff

Adult scoliosis


Years! I’m talking YEARS! I have dealt with a unbalance in my hips. I have had tests, and more testa but they never said anything about a curve in my back?? My dr confirmed it with old X-rays, old X-rays!

It started when I tried to lay on my back on my yoga mat, I put my knees up and my feet flat and it felt like I had a rock under my pelvic bone. It hurt like crazy and it was slightly on the left. After I got up it hurt so bad for the rest of that day.

So now it’s physical therapy for me, but it may help so we will see.

I don’t know anyone with scoliosis, how about you?

Posted in my thoughts, Psychology, Shared, tips & tricks, Uncategorized, WOW Stuff

Complimentary Therapies Enhance Addiction Treatment


Long-term sobriety is the ultimate goal of addiction treatment, but high rates of relapse show that talk therapy alone is not enough. Traditional …

Complimentary Therapies Enhance Addiction Treatment

Now this is a subject to discuss!! My fight with sobriety has been ongoing for way too long, I feel the mind is ready but the body is not! I am not normal when it comes to so many things! Things that are supposed to help one way does something different with me all the time and addiction has been the hardest thing in my life!!!

I am only on 1mg a day. I know I have made the connections that I need my meds to live, which I literally do, and my addiction fell in there along the way. My dr tells me it’s the placebo effect. If I do not take it , I am having physical problems by the end of the day no matter what I’m doing , even if I don’t think about it. Sweats, fatigue, pain, no appetite and I won’t sleep at all. Then I’m throwing up and etc etc etc

What are your thoughts?

Posted in my thoughts, Parents, Psychology, self-help, Shared, tips & tricks, Uncategorized, WOW Stuff

The shadow addicts


I just read an article on addiction that made it obvious to me that the person who wrote it never has been an addict and probably never knew an addict.

There are many levels of addiction as well as many things a person can be addicted to , I have read that man needs to be addicted to something, work, family, or drugs and alcohol, anything can be an addiction. I am going to address the most known forms of addiction, drugs.

You have addicts to, heroine, cocaine, crack, pills, uppers and downers, most pain reliever pills can be addictive. Some people start from dr prescriptions, other get turned on from friends or just being bored. They say most addicts are people trying to forget or trying not to feel, maybe trying to compensate for something in their life, or something not in their lives, either way I think that is more of a mental addiction.

I personally became addicted to pain reliever pills that I was prescribed for years, moving, getting involved into a not so healthy crowd, and having to change dr, I started buying on the street. Once I decided it was enough, I went back to the dr and was put on suboxen, a drug they prescribe to help people get over addiction, like methadone, it has a blocker for opioids in it so if they are taken you can’t get high, ( although I’m sure people tried everything) the most you can do is nod off.

The drugs they made to help people get off street drugs are so much worse, you trade one for another and those make you sicker if you go with out. It is worse, it is so much harder to get off suboxen then any of the actual drugs! From reading and hearing it from people I know, you can get off pills and feel almost normal again in a week or so depending on the person, with suboxen it can be months if not years before you feel normal, again, depending on the person and the amount and length they were on it. Here in Maine you go to a clinic and they don’t wean you off they jack up your doses and don’t push people to get clean, which is what a clinic is supposed to do. That’s a whole different article though!

I am physically addicted, yes there is a difference, I have had a couple doctors tell me my body could not handle detoxing, which I know is true, but that’s cold turkey. If I didn’t get the nurses to get the papers in to the insurance company so they could get them to the pharmacy before the weekend I have had to go without, I ended up in the hospital. That was when I had a dr who only gave me enough for one day after my appointment. The dr I have now believes in me and gives me enough for, just in case. I have been taking suboxen for about ten years give or take. I have tried to wean off but failed multiple times. My endocrinologist just told me I have to do the weaning in more triple times between dose changes, so months not weeks. The last step is the hardest and I have been putting it off. All of my disabilities revolve around pain and fatigue, weaning causes pain and fatigue.

So it is not so black and white as some may think and it is not always junkies trying to get the next fix. I never sold things or robbed anyone, I never did or said anything in front of my kids and they never ever went with out anything. There are people who do and some even loose their kids, but not all. There happens to be quite a few people like me out there, we are just the ones you don’t hear about.

Posted in My Photos of Maine, my thoughts, Parents

Pains of change but still the same.


I am full of things to say today! Lol

As the seasons change, so does my pain. In the summer it hurts when it rains, in the winter it hurts as it gets colder, but the pain is still the same, pain. The winter pain spreads in more places, and seems to be lot more often, it’s harder to get past then summer pain. I can get up and move to get rid of summer pain but winter pain just gets a little easier to bare. It’s strange, it’s the same pain, just different.

Humans are entirely different creatures and creations then weather and seasons but they all effect us in many ways. Before getting into medicine my son used to say I was crazy when I said it was the weather making me hurt , now he just says I’m crazy! Lol