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Some of you know my best friend is bipolar, she had years with out becoming manic and then it was one thing after another and it has been a roller coaster ride since.
She has 4 kids, all different dads. When the dad of the 3 boy died of an overdose when we did not even know he was using, she went manic. It was a slow process and took looking closely to see she was falling but I saw it. She trusted the wrong people, lost so much and blamed herself, went back to the hospital. She was in and out for months, could not get stable, then met this punk kid who manipulated her into thinking he was something he wasn’t. She got pregnant again. Baby 4 was a girl, he became abusive. I Didn’t Know!!! He stole the babies gift cards , sold things, was a junkie. I tried to kill him when I found out all this after the fact, it was wrong but, I lost it on him and would have if the hammer wasn’t taken out of my hand. I’m ashamed but will admit I did it. Ok, wait, back up. She hit the line, the fine line between love and hate, dealing with abuse and not. For the first time in the 20 years I have known her she became violent, throwing things, loosing her temper and mind. The police came, he told them to leave the kids with him, they said no way and took them. He knew he was supposed to call me , he knew I had paperwork and all the things to take the kids for the time she was in the hospital, but he was mad. They would not let him keep them, not even his one month old daughter, so he let them take them. Now it has been almost a year! The state of Maine refuses to give her kids back for their own safety. I am over the moon pissed! Her lawyer would not let me help. Dhhs has her feeling like such a failure and bad mother she hasn’t argued at all. She did everything they asked, is doing extra counseling to make better choices, but still missed her daughter growing up.
If someone with out bipolar had a break down after being in an abusive relationship for a year and the police came, took the kids to the state and said they had to do things to get them back, they would do it and get them back, but not her. Junkies’s get their kids back but not a single mother with bipolar. I don’t think it’s right, I wanted to make some noise, but she would not let me. I’m not able to do anything to help. She is still afraid if she makes noise against the state that they will take her visiting rights away.! It’s wrong. It’s prejudice. I don’t understand how the state of Maine can just do it.
Am I being unreasonable? Am I just to close to the situation to see it, should the kids be taken away????
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My husband has an ex who is an alcoholic, has been in and out of the hospital because of it and was told not to drink at all. Of course she started again. We got a call from her family about it , she called her boyfriend drunk and driving, he called them and they called us. After talking to them that’s when his 12 year old said mom was drinking again. He told what he knew and we decided we could not let him go back there. What if they found her dead? Not to mention the drinking and driving!! The trauma would be unreal! He also has a 15 year old who is I really believe autistic, lots of other people have said the same but when it is mentioned to his mother she freaks out and says no he’s not doing that testing and usually stops going to that dr. The 15 year old is all about momma and will not leave her side at all, hates dad and I and just repeats everything momma says. I almost think he would kill himself if he found her dead. She uses his ADHD as a crutch and blames the other son, who is also ADHD for everything so he will end up resenting his brother. We talk about all this with him , he is in all the gifted and talented at school and really is perceptive.
So mom has so far tried, guilt, bribery, “the you don’t love me “, thing , has tried to get him out of our house and into her truck and he just keeps telling her he will come home when she gets help.
She won’t, she denies it all and has convinced herself all she believes is true and we have lied about everything turning her child against her.
His grandmother called him and as usual puts it all on him and his brother. Told him to go home and said to just call if something happens!!! Oh ok so let the kids deal with her drinking, let the kids be the ones to find her dead , what is wrong with these people!?!?!?!?!!!!!!!
Seriously!!! I am just beside myself, as it is I can only try to save one from the trauma and abuse , although the grandmother says they should deal with this together so they can support each other. ? I don’t even know if any of this will hold up in court for temp custody. I don’t know what to do. She won’t admit she has a problem, the only proof we have is from the 12 year old testimony and I just don’t know what to do to help the 15 year old!!!!
Anyone have any advice??????????