I have posted before about my best friend and her struggle with mental illness and how it effects us all, but this time was different. Her bipolar has been a struggle for her in the past year more than she even let on to me. She has been in and out of the hospital many times , last I told you about her just getting better when her baby daddy died unexpectedly. They shocked her and she was gone, nothing like my best friend, her memory was mush and she was a zombie. Since then she has been up and down but I thought doing better. Today I got a call, she was back in the hospital and it was bad. The kids had been suffering with knowing it was happening, she was doing so much and I had no idea. I noticed by her Facebook posts that she was not right but pushed it away. She has been keeping so much from me and I had no idea. I know if I was around and has seen her or the kids and house I would have known but I haven’t been and now I feel like I let her down. The kids are good now with her ex roommate there with them and can be there as long as needed. They say at the hospital she’s better today but they have no beds and her dr won’t be available till Monday. She just got a new job as in a week or so ago and has to work Monday and Tuesday but won’t be out and I can’t do the FAML(family and medical leave) papers for her. She was so good for ten years , her dad died a few years ago and it was hard on her but then when her baby daddy died she’s been manic since. I feel so helpless.