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If you have followed me for a bit you would here now and again about my best friend who has bipolar. We have gone through her manias, people taking advantage of her in her manic state, and her multiple manic episodes in the past year. I have learned a lot by reading and talking to people about the illness. My girl went ten years with out an episode but then her father died and started a roller coaster of episodes. When her baby daddy died it just got worse and it has been not only hard on her but her three boys as well.

This time is the depression and it is completely new to me, I have never had any experience with this and it’s pretty scary. I went to check on her and she is not her, lost weight, staring off and not really even answering any questions or acknowledged I was there. She went in to the hospital last night and her dr was supposed to come in and see her this morning to give her a shot of some kind to help her come out of it. I can’t imagine how hard it must be for her kids to have to see her going through this.

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I have posted before about my best friend and her struggle with mental illness and how it effects us all, but this time was different. Her bipolar has been a struggle for her in the past year more than she even let on to me. She has been in and out of the hospital many times , last I told you about her just getting better when her baby daddy died unexpectedly. They shocked her and she was gone, nothing like my best friend, her memory was mush and she was a zombie. Since then she has been up and down but I thought doing better. Today I got a call, she was back in the hospital and it was bad. The kids had been suffering with knowing it was happening, she was doing so much and I had no idea. I noticed by her Facebook posts that she was not right but pushed it away.  She has been keeping so much from me and I had no idea. I know if I was around and has seen her or the kids and house I would have known but I haven’t been and now I feel like I let her down. The kids are good now with her ex roommate there with them and can be there as long as needed. They say at the hospital she’s better today but they have no beds and her dr won’t be available till Monday. She just got a new job as in a week or so ago and has to work Monday and Tuesday but won’t be out and I can’t do the FAML(family and medical leave) papers for her. She was so good for ten years , her dad died a few years ago and it was hard on her but then when her baby daddy died she’s been manic since.  I feel so helpless.

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Lifeline for bipolar friend, broken??

Some of you may remember awhile ago I talked about my friend with bipolar and her bad spell. She hadn’t fully recovered from that when we were all struck by the sudden death of her baby daddy. They had been split for a little while now but proved his love when she went manic in making sure things that needed to be done along with me, got done. He always looked out for her and even then I saw a new side to him. Now she’s trying to get back up and was seeming to do great when she unexpectedly got fired from her job as a cna. She worked so hard getting totally off social security and providing for her and her boys all by herself. She had never even had a job , she had always been on ss and I for one was right by her side the whole way.

 She had not one complaint, not one warning or bad Mark anywhere in her work file, was the one cna that everyone loved and wanted to work with because she did the job and she did it good. She said that there was some paperwork that they didn’t get in, whether it was from the Dr or something she was supposed to fill out I’m not sure but just like that, done. We figure since the place was owned by maine general, and the people who treat her and help in monitoring her, all work for maine general. She said she’s to much of a liability, she could go manic at any time. Usually she catches it and gets help but this time it was from being to happy, not to sad. The disability advocates place can not help because they to, are maine general.

She worked for about a year, and in one second it was gone and I’m not sure how to help her. I have suggested a smaller business or maybe go a different way and do home help or something but not to just quit. She has given up. She is going down fast and I don’t know what to do. I am always the one her and a few others come to for advice or insight, but, this is the first time I don’t know what to say….

my thoughts


I usually try not to get into really serious things but I have had bipolar reach its hand out and touch my life.

My best friend of 17 years has bipolar, she jokes and says she is literally crazy with that and her other issues but is a great person with a big heart. She recently got off S.S. and took advantage of the state free program to be a cna, graduated first in her class and has just opened up her wings. I have been so proud of her. Whatever the reasoning for why all that mattered was she did it. She became self sufficient, a great mom and an even better friend. I guess she was too happy. She all of a sudden went manic and ended up in houlton maine which is like an hour and half drive??  She made it out and home in 20 days which is a record I guess, she says years ago, 6 maybe? Or 8? Idk but she usually takes months to get back to her normal thing. Tragedy wasn’t done with us yet about 2 weeks, if that after she came home her four year old’s father passed away completely unexpectedly in his sleep. The doctor’s have taken all this into account with adjusting her medications and have totally failed. She is no longer my bubbly energized friend. She is so lethargic and quite, no more out throwing the balls around with her boys, no going to the gym at 4 am everyday, she’s having a hard time at work even. I miss her so much. I am trying to of course be as supportive as I can be in hopes they will keep messing with her medications so we can get her back. It blows my mind how all this happened to her because she was too happy, her life was going to good. Her medications stopped working is what the drs say but it was like piping a switch. 

I have never experienced this before, I had moved away for a few years last time but those two times are the only times it has happened to her and last time it was things were to bad so it’s a different and I don’t see it but she says she’s glad I wasn’t here last time.