We have had plans to renovate this year for a year but then the pandemic happened and it all went to poop!!! Everyone was booked, no contractors, needed a basement for the addition, nope can’t do that!!!!!
Ok now that I got that out, we finally have the foundation for the addition started.
And now a hurricane!! Yup! Now it will be another week or something before we can get this back on track.
I also learned hubby wants to put pipe all around the house so more digging has to come, but not for a couple weeks till we can get the right equipment.
I still have the perfect husband, great kids and support from friends, but I’m still frustrated!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Few days I ago I saw the flash of bright red and fluff from the corner of my eye. I caught a glimpse of a huge fat fox as he ran across the small clearing into the woods on the neighbors property. We knew they were around , along with a dozen or so wild turkeys, couple raccoons and the usual chipmunks, deer and squirrels.
My concern was it was the middle of the day and they usually are out at night. My neighbor has seen him a few times and once had a couple pups playing around the yard as he, or she, rested in the shade. Is that right, pups?? Babies, I guess I could have looked that up first! 🙄
Then yesterday I heard her calling my name, she was quietly yelling to me from the yard. I heard get your camera and got all gitty!! This little guy or girl was cautiously coming towards us from the field out back. He stopped and looked when the kids yelled from behind us or any other loud noise drew his attention. He looked us over a couple times and then kept on his business. As we got closer to him I noticed no fear. Curiosity and caution but no fear.
The closer he got the more I thought he looked rough, beaten, he had hair loss and was tiny, very tiny.
I didn’t realize in the heat of the moment my camera focused on the tree instead of the animal!!! 😳🙄
He was eating some of the apples from the tree and just checking things out.
The kids yelled and started running toward us as we tried to quietly tell them NO!!!!!!
Too late. Then, he stopped, turned toward us and just sat down.
He had come as close as he dared, as he stood , giving us one more long look and turned to go, I again noticed he looked like he had seen better times and I felt for him.
He disappeared into the brush and I could not help but wonder why was he alone? He was so little, he could not survive long out here on his own, the hawks and Eagle would grab him if given the chance, then when the cold comes , his half bald body would be frozen in no time. My neighbor and I talked about putting food out for him but we didn’t want him to get to trust us. Humans can be cruel creatures.
I can go back through my life and see every important relationship, event or experience is somehow, some way building up to the finale.
Things I learned in different relationships, reasoning as to why I was meant to have a son with an alcoholic, my battle with self worth and self sabotage, I truly believe everything happens for a reason.
To one day wake up and realize, I understand, I see why I went through this, I see my reasoning, it’s a mind blowing experience!
My life has been filled with , anger, pain, anxiety, depression, low self esteem and so much loneliness, I never felt like I belonged and went through life thinking something was wrong with me, mentally and emotionally.
Then I met my husband. I know it may sound, wrong , I do not define myself by having a husband, but I truly understand.
His ex is a narcissistic alcoholic who is mentally and emotionally abusive. His children have lived in this and through her need to make sure they depended on her and would never leave her, holding back love and evolving them into adult matters they could not understand. Her parents are enabling and he was secluded from any support of his own.
I realized with each relationship what mattered to me, in a partner and friend , in a father figure and even in physical features and characteristics.
To have an unending, completely reliable source of trust, love and support, someone who can connect the dots of my life for me and finally show me the finished or almost finished picture they make. It’s liberating to say the least.
When my son first left for school I was lost, some of you helped by explaining your experience and I appreciated that. I wanted to show you my latest photo of my first born, looks so grown up! He is working in cardiology and decided he will stay with that in Med school. His girlfriend is a fashion designing major. I still miss him and cry when he leaves. I guess that will never change!!
It can effect even the happiest of people, like me. I always looked at my depression as selfishness, when I was unhappy. Years of being a single mother, no help at all in any way from dad, financially stressed, fighting constant illness, and trying to do my best for my boys mentally and emotionally to help them become great men.
To be depressed when I have never been so happy has thrown me off. How do you explain something like that to people who have never experienced it?
Thanksgiving my son told me he had to work on Christmas and didn’t think he could come home, I thought I would curl up and ball! I have never had one of my boys on Christmas morning and although I know it is inevitable, I am not ready. He got a later shift then expected so did come home ,till he had to work anyway.
I hope you all have had a Blessed and loving time this holiday season.
For the most part my husband has done this by himself. It has been slow going but with the doors ordered and windows upstairs to put in then it will be weather tight. That’s the most important part for right now. Sometimes he just amazes me!!!
State trooper, deputy sheriff, Damariscotta police department and the Boothbay harbor P D took time to attend an 8 year olds birthday party. He does a lot of appreciative gifts for these men and woman so they decided to give back! They ran around playing capture the flag and football with these kids for a couple hours and it was amazing!!!