Category: my thoughts

I stopped living when I died. 20 years ago I became ill. The first time I knew something was wrong it was Easter, I became a skeleton, my hair fell out, my eyes sunk into my head, I was yellow with jaundice. I could not stand or sit, I felt like I needed to lay down but already was. I didn’t eat. I only slept. I was dying and no one new why. A family friend, not my mother, not my brother, a friend decided she wasn’t going to just sit and watch me die. I barely remember her carrying me to the van, I don’t remember the drive, I remember being pushed into the emergency room in Portland and they started to hook me up to machines before even knowing my name. My blood pressure was so low they couldn’t get a reading. I lost all my muscle and was 90 pounds at 5’6.They say I died. They said I was gone for a quick moment and the adrenaline they administered was what saved me but also made them realize what I had. I was diagnosed with Addisons Disease and hypothyroidism, that was November. No one lived that long before when your adrenal glands stop working, they stop. I poured salt into my mouth all the time, I craved it. The dr’s say that’s what saved me. I lost a part of me that day. I have survived since then, but not lived. I was an extreme extrovert as a teen, now I hardly leave my house for days or weeks at a time. Yes, I have had more issues arise and many more health issues have been found but inside I no it started that day, the day I died.