my thoughts

And it starts…..

I haven’t had the best life and most of it was brought on myself, bad decisions, poor judgement and all that goes with it. I had 2017 like a dream from someone else’s life, everything was beautiful, every day I felt like a different person but feared it would not be so in 2018. I don’t want to be right. I know nothing will take my husband and family but if I become a financial burden, if my dr appt, meds and needs become overwhelming, it scares me.

In sept before we even got married I called and talked to someone from Dhs about my Maine care, my medical insurance, I have always had it and people were saying I would loose it once I got married. The woman whole heartedly reassured me that it was not true and even if it came to a change in it that it is a slow process and they give you lots of time and help to figure it all out.

Well guess what, time for my review came and I was told to do this and that instead, then my pharmacist called and said my insurance wasn’t working. I call, again and said I was just in last week with the information that I was told to get, oh no, I don’t know why you were told that, you need to do the review first even if you are changing all the information. So while I am jumping through hoops to get another bunch of papers done, I am out of meds and worried about my life. I need my medicine to live. Literally. I have Addison’s disease and need my meds to survive. I know David would never risk anything coming close to my running out of that medicine but I have others and I am out of two now. I can live but won’t be happy. I really have never had to deal with anything like this. Filing out the papers , they don’t care about loan payments or credit card debt, they want to know gross pay and necessary living bills. The house and vehicle , assets , his work stuff, all the stuff they take out for, not included, they look at our income so differently than how we actually live. I was living in a rent paid apartment, getting food and lights paid for as well. I left that stuff behind and just want the medical but now I see why so many people stay living on the states dime to keep it. I’m totally stressed and overly anxious about it all.


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