Tracey in Maine

The year 2017 was the best ever for me and I can not even begin to see how I can top it!

I found my soul mate and married him so he couldn’t get away! Lol  We bought a house, moved my whole family a half hour away to a different town and into the country.

I was told I had cancer, and I beat it! I have worked on my eating and exercise habits, or trying to be habits and just over all well being, mentally, emotionally and spiritually.

I got to see my brother, sister and father for the first time in 18 years, met my nieces and my brother in law.

I have had emotional flows of happiness so strong it brings me to tears, all I have ever wanted and wished for I found with one man, who I ignored 25 years ago when we first met, but I wasn’t ready to receive his love at that time. We both had to indulge in the cruelty of human nature, sacrifice all that we were and then rebuild better and stronger first because only then, only when you can love yourself , be proud of who you are, are you able to fully accept someone’s gift of unconditional beauty and magical happiness that is true love.

I never thought I would find such a beautiful thing in this world so filled with hate and violence, I always thought my sins as a teenager had deemed me unworthy and went to far at trying to make up for it by letting people take advantage of my help many times till I realized that also was not right. I needed to just be me, deal with the punches as they came and live my life as it was. 42 years for me to be broken completely, stumble blindly for awhile trying to find the right path and start over to form the mother, friend, and woma, and now wife I wanted to be.

To me marriage is sacred and never ending. Divorce is not in my vocabulary with exception of cheating and violence, marriage is something you put 100% of yourself into and then find more. You are no longer one person but an ever evolving unit always in perfect stride with each other.

In writing my vows I somehow got to bible verses and found the story of god making woman. In the version I read it said he made Adam feel the need for a mate first and then he took, not from Adams feet for him to walk on her, not from Adams head for her to rule over him but from his side for him to understand they were equals. This even now I’m crying because it hits home so hard for us, I was always walked on and treated like I was nothing and David’s exwife ruled over him in his prior marriage and was controlling, so as you see, it just had to be.

so now as I say goodbye to 2017 I can not imagine what is in store for me in 2018 but having the love of my life by my side will make it nothing we can’t handle together.