Posted in My Photos of Maine, my thoughts

Gift


My husband made this for me as a late present for my birthday. He’s been working so many different shifts at the railroad and trying to keep up with sleep has had him off for a bit. Now I need to decide what to paint it with, but I already know we’re I will put it. Will update when it’s done so u can see!

Posted in my thoughts, Parents, Psychology, Uncategorized

Narcissist, psychopath, sociopath,


Both lie to the kids, both treated the men like crap, both are mentally and emotionally abusive, they are both evasive, manipulative and seem to have all the power they think they have.

I can’t think of another way to stress myself, frustrate and mentally exhaust myself then to have to deal with both of these woman on a daily bases!

David’s ex will try to only say or do anything when I am not around cause she knows I stand right up to her and give it all back. She has no concerns for her boys hearing anything cause she always seems to be able to make it our fault somehow.

When we had just moved and went to get the boys once , she was drunk and came over to the car to complain he wasn’t putting the child support direct deposit anymore, she said to him, “look at you, you are all, unkept,!” I popped my head up above the car on my side to be eye-level with her and told her that she didn’t need to worry how he looked , and I said,” I like his hair grown out like that and told him he should keep it that way. ” She replied in a very snooty way , with her hand going from her waist up into the air and with her son standing next to her, “Well why don’t you just go fuck him then!” Then after some days later we were told by the little one that mom had told them it was all because she had always wanted him to grow his hair out for her but he had always said no.

Now they have had the huge task of keeping her out of the alcohol and we can do nothing? They are old enough to call for help if they think they will need it. That was the response given to us my the state. So mental and emotional abuse are not actually considered a problem in the state of Maine.

My grandkids have seemed to disappear, I called the state and left a message that my grandsons school has not seen him in two weeks. We shall see how that turns out.

I have a great relationship with my husband, a dream like intensely easy, relaxed, open and perfect for us relationship. I have great boys, a new house that we are fixing into our dream home, so many good things going for the first time in my life but these two thorns in my side still manage to keep me awake at night, give me horrible thoughts of these kids futures and drain me.

I have through the years kept journals, diary or just a reminder note in my devices on stupid things my grandkids mother has done and now that I want them, now that it is time to start fighting, I can’t find any of them! I have a new computer, they must be there, somewhere.

David filed a motion to modify for his child support even tho since we did that his pay has gone back up , we are still pushing for all the other things we requested as well.

To have the kids every other week during the summer, to have her reminded she is to include and consult with him on things that concern the boys health and welfare in any way, to stop trying to turn them against him and , or, us! Some other things that she had a total fit over, he also has a very good medical plan that would save her a lot of out of pocket but has refused to allow him to put the boys on.

Since they made the order, he has a new job, a house with a mortgage and a disabled wife with two dependents. Normally a new wife and step kids are not part of the consideration but since I have no income we are. Normally he would be told it was his problem he has a mortgage now not his kids but I think considering my kids deserve to have a good life as well it will not be the same. We are now waiting for the court date.

I think hate is a strong word that I very rarely use but I really think I hate both of those people.

Posted in my thoughts

How to know


People come and go in our lives, some you stay in contact with and some you don’t. Some are always within reach, some become just acquaintances or someone you used to know. Last Sunday I found out that someone I was once good friends?, buddies, with, how to even define it now?, but he passed away. (We hung out as teens, have been in the same social circle since then, talked once in awhile on Facebook but he left state , we had a death in our circle way back when that made some of us closer for life and he was one of mine.) It was a shock to lots of people, then we found out the news report said he was homeless!!!?? As people started looking and digging into things he had been in a lot of trouble, had got in to cocaine, was arrested multiple times for varies things?!!? He was in Vermont and we here in Maine were just incredibly shocked as more and more came out.

Some things said was if anyone had known he was in such bad shape they would have helped him, but obviously he didn’t want us to know. If we had known we would have gone and got him and brought him home, but we didn’t . I understand his shame and not letting us know but how far is far enough? They have no idea what happened to him or how he died? He was only 45.

It makes me realize, we tell the depressed and the addicts to reach out for help, but what if they can’t? What if they are too ashamed? Do we just sit back and loose them forever? I never had a chance to even think maybe he was in trouble,

Posted in Uncategorized

The secret of life . . .


Purplerays

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“The secret of life is to let every segment
of it produce its own yield at its own pace.
Every period has something new to teach us.
The harvest of youth is achievement;
the harvest of middle-age is perspective;
the harvest of age is wisdom;
the harvest of life is serenity.”

~ Joan D. Chittister

~ Image by Shihya Kowatari
Text & image source: The Garden Of Pensiveness https://web.facebook.com/The-Garden-Of-Pensiveness-367268523352486/

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Posted in my thoughts, Parents, Psychology

Burnt out


It is one stupid idea after another, Im trying constantly to prove this and that are wrong, wondering how can they not see the damage they are putting on them?

Since David ant I got together his social path ex wife has done everything possible to turn those two boys against him. She started it the day they were born. The marriage was a sham, two years in he had his own room but she was a closet drunk so he stayed for them. Now he realizes how bad that was and her drinking has caught up to her. The drs said no more drinking at all. She is an alcoholic and coming home to her two kids. They want to help mom of course, so they are told to break any alcohol they see her with. Don’t let her drink. So now these two young boys are given the responsibility of keeping an alcoholic away from alcohol!

If anything goes wrong they will blame themselves! REALLY!!!!

In the same sentence nana says, they are all that matters, if she wants to drink let her it will be her fault not mine and they asked what they could do to help,

Then we have the grandkids stupid mother who has decided her new man is now the kids daddy, my grandson has been out of school for a week and when I try to ask I am told not to call back or she will put a pfa on me! My stepson is in jail so she is doing whatever she wants with those kids and along with her mother who helped her rob me a couple years ago trusting type and her bipolar self who knows what is going on. She has been a big balls of lies and more lies since day one, so many she will totally forget and not have a clue what I am talking about but when I sent her a screenshot of her saying it, I am the bad guy, I am the one whose is denied the kids for months.

Has the world always been filled with so many narcissistic parents?

Is that how the world got like this is it just keeps going generation after generation??