Tag: help

Posted in My Photos of Maine, my thoughts, Parents, Uncategorized

Devastated

Posted on by queentracey1

My heart is on fire with grief, guilt is taking over, my responsibility to my loved ones who counted on me has been betrayed. I opened the door, I let my beautiful girl outside at night and then left her out side when I went to bed. I killed my best friend. My precious girl, she was an angel, she was the most well behaved animal I have even had the pleasure of meeting. She didn’t get up on things or rip things, she never ever not used her litter box. She was very simple and happy. She deserved so much better. She was only 7. I can not forgive God anymore, he has taken so much from me, I don’t need to be stronger! I don’t need to endure anymore great pain! I have had so much pain in my life. I mean, cmon, my Adrenal Glands were so over used by the time I hit my 20 that they quit at 22! Not deformed or any other reason, they were just exhausted! I understand a lot of the things that have happened in my life and I even understand the reason behind them and I did need to learn to be stronger and I was. But I have lived through it, I beat the pain, I saved myself and my kids from all the abuse and I made myself into the person I am now. I beat cancer. I have over come and have my rewards for my troubles. I have the most perfect man for me that could ever be, we have our quirky house, and we have our boys. Yes, his ex is still mentally and emotionally abusing his two and my grandkids are in a horrible situation but we are dealing, Day by day. How could anyone possibly thing I didn’t still need her! How could anyone think I could just get up and move on with out my shadow? She has been next to me every day since she could walk. She was my sunshine, my happiness and my baby.

Myah May Lee August 2011-August 2018

WhaT is all this about August? She was born and then God took my only 2 best friends ever in August?

Posted in my thoughts, Parents

Parenting Fail

Posted on by queentracey1

I started therapy as soon as I knew I was pregnant. I was a messed up person, all my life I had done things I could not understand or explain, I was in the mental ward of the hospital once for a month as a teenager and it did nothing but mess me up more. I lied to anyone who would listen, always felt inside I was just made bad. I took the normal families teasing and messing around personally, and just didn’t understand why I felt so sad inside at times.

That was just as a teenager. I was 22 when I got pregnant. I had multiple abusive relationship and allowed myself to be bossed around and insulted, I couldn’t explain my feeling and turned to anger. I had just recovered from almost dying from the doctors not diagnosing my Addison’s disease till the last-minute and now had to depend on a little pill just to stay alive.

My sons father was an abusive one and an alcoholic who I went back and forth with till Jacob was a year old and we lost everything in a house fire. He went to jail for three years and I became free of him. I knew I had to work on so much to be able to raise my boy so he didn’t turn into his father or a serial killer!

I thought I failed till he turned 18 and literally flipped a switch. He had been caught shoplifting, drank and smoked pot, and I had to have the police take him to school many times. Now he’s 20. He is home for summer break from college which he got into and started from going to job Corp which used to be just were judges sent kids, but, he has his diploma even tho he had to take extra classes to get, he has a CNA license, an ECT license and personal trainer license, but, he is still completely inconsiderate, kinda selfish and seems to have no empathy. I know it could be so much worse but it is killing me! We have so much on our plates right now but he just ads more. Doesn’t seem to care or just doesn’t remember anything I tell him or ask him. I feel I failed him. We’re did I go wrong , what did I do, or not do to make him become like this?, especially since I am a “give the shirt off my back kind “of person….

Posted in kids and crafts and more!!!, my thoughts, Parents, Psychology, Uncategorized, WOW Stuff

How much more!

Posted on by queentracey1

From my own personal experience, someone who was “cheated on” by there husband does not go have an affair with a married man.

In my opinion someone who is a parent, a good parent, can not say someone else’s kid should go with out the essentials to live , if it means anything less for them!

Someone who lies a lot to their kids, who constantly puts down the other parent to the kids, who does everything possible to try to make everyone and anyone think that parent is a horrible person, and gets away with it for years, is not just a pitiful, disgusting, selfish , sorry excuse for a parent, but for a human being!

The faith I have in Maine state department of child support, child abuse, the court system, all of it, has wavered so much lately, to be told the mental and emotional abuse of kids is unimportant because they are 10 and 12, shocked me. They can take care of themselves.

The thought that things will not be seen fairly for each family, his kids deserve it yes, but why does that mean mine doesn’t?

Please someone tell me, that these two boys are not going to be screwed up for life? We can only help them so much only having them for two nights a month, we want so much more time, please let the fathers rights be seen as actually equal as the moms. Joint custody means so much more than what we get, we have to fight and argue for school information, for special event information,

i am so tired. When will the world stop being filled with so many hateful people?Why aren’t the kids the most important thing?

 

Posted in self-help, Shared

How To Enjoy Life: 10 Ways To Stop Running After Happiness And Finally Find What Feels Good Now

Posted on by queentracey1

How To Enjoy Life: 10 Ways To Stop Running After Happiness And Finally Find What Feels Good Now

How To Enjoy Life: 10 Ways To Stop Running After Happiness And Finally Find What Feels Good Now
— Read on thoughtcatalog.com/brianna-wiest/2018/07/how-to-enjoy-life-10-ways-to-stop-running-after-happiness-and-finally-find-what-feels-good-now/

Posted in Psychology, self-help, Shared

What Is Your Attachment Style? — MakeItUltra™

Posted on by queentracey1

By Dr. Perry, PhD “What’s love got to do with it?” ~Tina Turner Humans are born helpless. Unlike other life forms such as insects that are born with fully developed brains and must immediately fend for themselves, we are born totally defenseless. We are unable to walk, talk or feed ourselves. Our cognitive functions are […]

via What Is Your Attachment Style? — MakeItUltra™

Posted in My Photos of Maine, my thoughts, Shared, tips & tricks, WOW Stuff

Help Maine

Posted on by queentracey1

https://nrcm.salsalabs.org/opposenecec/index.html

oppose Central Maine Power’s (CMP’s) proposal to build a 145-mile transmission line from the Québec-Maine border to Lewiston because it would harm Maine forests and wildlife, suppress Maine’s renewable energy industry, and could actually increase climate change emissions, all without any clear benefit to Maine or Massachusetts.