Posted in kids and crafts and more!!!, My Photos of Maine, my thoughts, Parents, photography, Shared, Uncategorized, WOW Stuff

My world stopped


Why is the sun rising?

Why are the birds singing?

Why has the world kept living

My heart is shattered, my mind is muck , my body is numb , I can’t get unstuck.

The moment he left me my world split and shattered.

I have never experienced such pain, such anguish as I did on that day, that day you went away.

My best friend, my soul mate, the reason my world spun, my husband, my hero, David Bernier. My love, my life, is gone

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Posted in my thoughts, Parents, Shared, tips & tricks, Uncategorized, WOW Stuff

I messed up


I have a bipolar friend that I have written about a few times. She has very few friends and no family. She has 4 kids by different fathers and the only one that was good for anything died.

She works one day a week and needed a baby sitter for her 3 year old daughter. I have helped her raise all of her kids so seemed to make sense I helped her with it.

After a few Sunday’s went by her youngest boy wanted to come along so of course I said yes. The second time he was here and we were outside , she took off running to see her brother and I went to put our drinks on the deck, I turned around and she was on the ground crying. She has run up behind her and he accidentally hit her with the bat he was playing with. She had a big egg on her head next to her eyebrow, we checked for a concussion and she did not have one. I sent her mom a message and told her what happened, and she was mad at her son and I just kept telling her it was not on purpose. After we dropped them off, she didn’t say anything to me and hasn’t talked to me since. Today is Sunday, I don’t have the little girl. She still hasn’t spoken to me and didn’t call me to get the little one.

I am so devastated that I let he down. I feel as though I lost a friend.

Posted in DIY, kids and crafts and more!!!

Cross for teenage boy?


My best friends son wanted me to make him a cross with his birthstone in it for him. I must admit I had a hard time deciding what to make for a boy about to be a teenager.

I started to just play with my wire at first, most of these are lopsided but I was just thinking. Then I decided to go a different way and came up with the cross I gave him. He likes it so that’s all that matters really!

Posted in my thoughts, Parents, Shared, tips & tricks, Uncategorized, WOW Stuff

Feelings of emptiness


I was lost when my oldest son left for school, it had been him, his brother and me against the world for so long. We had gone through so much together, homelessness, loss, stability, over whelming happiness, from one end to the other. My boys where my best friends, and when one of them left, oh man.

Thankfully that was the same month my now husband found me again after 20 years. I made him wait two months before I was willing to go out with him because I was trying to adjust to my son being gone, not just find someone else to fill that void.

Now it’s been 5 years, my son has lived about an hour away since then, he has come home for the summer first then got his own place. I love coming down stairs in the morning to find he had been home and was doing laundry or wanted a place to rest before driving home. He has been with a girl named Blake now for, well I am not sure, a year, two years, around two I believe, and we love her to pieces.

Blake is good to him and you can tell he is just head over heels for her. Blake has gotten a job offer from Ralf Lauren in New York and a place in Boston. I know my son will follow her which ever job she chooses.

Knowing my son, my baby, will be moving out of state takes my breath! I want what is best for him, I am so proud of him and , like I said, I love Blake. I am terrified though, the big city, him being miles away from home, thinking about it makes every hair on every place on my body stand straight up!

I know it is inevitable, he has his own company and can run it from anywhere, makes enough to survive off and pay his way through school, but that doesn’t mean it will be easy to except.

My first love, my son.