My new friend
Tag: maine
Wedding
Black baby squirrel
This weeks grief
I went in to get a quick med check with one of my drs and the nurse was telling me about her asking her husband to sleep in and I completely lost it. I started crying and she had no idea why. So again I started to tell my story of my husband passing. Then came the questions, how, when, what did you do about it.
How many people lost loved ones for other reasons than why they were in the hospital to begin with?
How many were , as I was , told there is nothing anyone can do because they were there for surgery or cancer or both? The reason my husband died in the Maine Medical Hospital in Portland Maine was not because of his surgery or because of the cancer we they removed in the surgery , no it was because when things went south they didn’t call his doctor in as instructed so in a matter of hours he bleed in to his stomach so much that his heart stopped. When requesting his medical files the dr wrote on a sticky note that he was not called in. I truly believe he could have saved him but because they just say a complication of surgery due to cancer, I can do nothing.
This week, I started out ok, then it all went to hell as the rush of emotions and the feeling of drowning came back.
You’re not in my book!
This woodpecker was not in my birds of Maine book so I guess I need to add it!!!!
Friendly visit
Small beauty
Blast from the past
This guy !
It was amazing and he was playing in a supermarket parking lot!
My world stopped
Why is the sun rising?
Why are the birds singing?
Why has the world kept living
My heart is shattered, my mind is muck , my body is numb , I can’t get unstuck.
The moment he left me my world split and shattered.
I have never experienced such pain, such anguish as I did on that day, that day you went away.
My best friend, my soul mate, the reason my world spun, my husband, my hero, David Bernier. My love, my life, is gone
It hits home
Birds song
Make sure your sound is on!
My dog got attacked 😩
The neighbors dog, they used to play when he was a puppy, they have played less as they both aged. I believe my pup is 2 years older actually, so they played when the other was a pup.
Anyway, the other dog hasn’t been loose to play in awhile, at first, he ran over and started to play but somehow they ended up fighting. The other dog had his throat and I freaked, it took both dads to get them apart. My poor baby was traumatized. We had to take him to a weekend vets an hour and half away. He had a drain and a lot of stitches put in, he had to be watched so he didn’t itch, he has had to have antibiotics and pain pills twice a day, warm cloth to clean all the stuff up, I think I have been traumatized as much as him!
He got the drain out but still has the stitches, we tried putting socks on his feet so he won’t itch but he just rips them off. We can’t put anything on him like his collar or a cone because it’s his neck.
He still shakes like crazy any time we even look at it. He has just started to act like himself again, it’s been a week today. I’m afraid we aren’t keeping it clean enough or he will scratch a stitch out.
The redness at the top worries me as well.
Sunset
Like the New England weather
Sitting here I see it’s snowing, April 17 and it’s snowing. It doesn’t last long and the next thing you know the sun is out, but look out back and the clouds are black as night. The instant change , the difference so close but yet just a turn and it’s different again.
This is me, on one side I am bright and sunny, eager to live, wanting to get out and be in life, be healthy and active, but I don’t , I sit and watch, not sunny but not raining or snowing, just being. I want to start living life instead of just surviving.
I can do that easily enough when my husband is home but he works long hours and then has to sleep, so it’s not always possible for him to be with me. I have few friends and they are like I have been, stay home and watch life passing by. I don’t want to do that anymore, I need to be active and healthy, I want too, but how ?
Join a club, volunteer some place, meet new people, easier said than done.
So I sit, as it’s sunny and bright out one door but gloomy and cloudy out another, yet still, raining on one side.
Tracey in Maine 