my thoughts, self-help, Shared, tips & tricks, WOW Stuff

I guess it’s a start???


I took my son to an appointment and decided while he was in to take the dog for a walk. My ears are frozen but I am sweating. I walked 30 min! 3,000 steps. Now considering I am supposed to be pacing myself, I think it is a good start. I bring him once a week but it won’t be 28 degrees and no wind on every Tuesday especially since this is the middle of winter in Maine! But , I still feel pretty good about it!!

Just need to try to stretch next time!!!

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making a business, my thoughts, organized, Parents, Psychology, tips & tricks, Uncategorized, WOW Stuff

Meaningful vs Happy


Do you have a meaningful life or a happy life?

Is there a difference, some say yes and others no.

I know I have a happy life. I have an amazing husband, great kids, house full of animals who keep me laughing and always make me feel loved when I am alone. I am hands on building the house of my dreams, as close as possible at least, and don’t have to worry about food or rent as I have in the past.

Can you have both? I struggle constantly trying to make myself better, mentally and physically. If I could have someone to tell me, how to make a small business out of my , creations, how to feel better about myself, how to be healthier and more comfortable in my own body.

Step by step, you need to do this , this and this today. Everyday. But also help me stay motivated and focused while also, building a house, being a wife, mother with responsibilities ( laundry, dishes, etc, etc,) and friend.

Do they make an app for that??

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my thoughts, Psychology, self-help, Uncategorized

I just can’t loose weight


I was a size 6-8 my whole life until about 15 years ago. I was diagnosed with Addison’s disease when I was 22, this was 8 years later. I am ashamed to say I weigh 202. Pounds and I feel disgusting. I have physical limitations that I do not fully understand the reason for, I have fibromyalgia, ok, I have arthritis, ok, but I have a swelling in my hip and “tire” area no doctor has been able to explain! That was when I started limiting my activity and started to gain weight. I just figured out I can not have dairy and thought that would be it, but, nope. It is not my bones, we know that for sure. I think it has something to do with air, I can get a lot of gas sometimes after the swelling comes but it is so severe I look crooked! It is visible to anyone that one side is bigger, it has always been the left side. If I am physically active when it is already swollen, it gets worse and can hurt all the way down my leg. Everyone just says,” there is nothing there”? Yup, just my hip. But it swells. My dr said to “get regular ” but I have never been!!

So, I need to loose weight. I hate the way I look. But I just can’t fig out how with limited mobility. My dr has suggested water physical therapy. I just feel like it is hopeless. Of course my husband loves me and always gets upset when I say I am fat or something, says he still sees the 15 year old girl he met but, he will see it someday.

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Psychology, self-help, Shared, tips & tricks, Uncategorized, WOW Stuff

2020 Won’t Be Different Than This Year Unless You Make It Different


2020 Won’t Be Different Than This Year Unless You Make It Different

2020 Won’t Be Different Than This Year Unless You Make It Different
— Read on thoughtcatalog.com/holly-riordan/2019/11/2020-wont-be-different-than-this-year-unless-you-make-it-different/

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kids and crafts and more!!!, making a business, my thoughts

The road to building a business


Being disabled puts a major damper on my income, my husband works for the railroad so it’s not that we are broke it is just with the mortgage, loans we took for the house, two vehicles one which has a loan on it , child support, etc, etc, etc. I only get child support once in a while even though the state is supposed to be handling that for me. I want to do more, I want to not have to panic when an emergency comes up.

I love to be creative, I love to make things out of nothing, or junk, and some of it can be sellable. I hope! 😬

I can not sit at a computer, or a desk. I can not do physical labor. I am out of shape and not the healthiest with chronic pain to top it off so, I think this is my best bet. Work at my pace, do things I love. I have a craft room, total mess! I have a work station in the basement for cutting, sanding and everything else I can’t do outside in the winter. I have the means, I live on a great road for it. I just have to fig out how to do it.

I have big things like wooden signs, things I can do when I am couch bound, make jewelry and wreaths, so with or with out tremors, good day or not I have it to do.

My problem is, I don’t trust myself, I am a perfectionist and second guess everything I do!

I will need some help guys! I need some support and people I can ask if it is good enough or not!

Come with me on my journey. Please?

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Psychology, self-help, Shared, Uncategorized

Everything You Asked Yourself About Panic Attacks


Everything You Asked Yourself About Panic Attacks

http://humanperformancepsychology.com/2019/09/06/everything-you-asked-yourself-about-panic-attacks/
— Read on humanperformancepsychology.com/2019/09/06/everything-you-asked-yourself-about-panic-attacks/

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kids and crafts and more!!!, My Photos of Maine, Parents, Psychology

The therapist


My husband and his older son have been going to see a therapist, at different times because he “hates” him. His ex refuses to let him go in a lone , she even after being asked and told multiple times to stop, talks about him right in front of the boy. She has made up lots of whopper stories about both of us. She has more than just a negative attitude but is the biggest narcissist I have ever met.

After months of this weekly it has come to the point that the therapist is writing to the court to make her recommendations. She thinks Garrett has autism, ex freaked out, she thinks he should be re-evaluated, ex said no, so she said point blank, You are nothing but negative, you have put many things in to this child’s head, you are the poster example of parental alienation and you also need individual therapy! We have her printing it all up and on our next check in phone call going to throw it all out. All that we have on her, all she has done and we will see what happens. She has made claims and accusations but has no proof of anything. We do.

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Parents, Psychology, Uncategorized

Coparenting with a narcissists sucks!!!!


My husband has two boys from his previous marriage to the devil, lol, ok , a horrible closet drunk narcissist.

Quick back story, After they met the classic signs of abuse that of course he did not see, became apparent to his friends and family, isolation, guilt trips, controlling, after awhile got control of all the money, threw away all his hobbies ( train collections and most of his music stuff) when they moved in together. At one point he was fed up and was going to leave and she “accidentally ” forgot to take her birth control got pregnant and David being who he is stayed. After married for 2 years he had his own bedroom, after the two boys started to grow up, she would chase him away down to the basement to his work space and kept the boys in her bedroom all the time. They did not go outside ever cause they would get “stolen,” David was not allowed to have a smart phone or any computers, he was not allowed on family trips, you get the point. Every night she would pass out drunk, at first he put her to bed but then just left her, she made fun of him in front of the kids, they told me when we first met, “dad was not allowed to help with homework because he was to stupid, “. This he put up with for ten years, he did not see or talk to his family, only left the house to work, and was miserable but says he was scared to leave her alone with the boys till they were older.

After we got together I started making him stand up to her, stopping her from dropping the kids off late, picking them up early, planning things on his visit days, she hated it, and me. She did everything to turn them against him, told them him and I had an affair, ( one example) and she succeeded turning the oldest to hate him. He is now 13, is diagnosed with ADHD but seems more autistic really, still calls them mommy and daddy, slept in her bed till he was 12, does not make friends easy having personal space issues I guess. He only eats chicken nuggets and fries and a few more other things, will not try anything new unless it’s a video game. Will not play sports, will not go anywhere with out his mother, she goes on all field trips, takes him to his one friends house and has to stay for a few minutes to make sure he wants to stay, he will have complete mental breakdowns screaming, crying, hides under things and smacks himself in the head. He stopped talking to us first, then would not eat her because we were gross, brought a sleeping bag and slept in his clothes and shoes. This was two nights a month. His visits were, sat at 9 till Sunday at 4 every other weekend at first cause he lived with a roommate and the boys were not very comfortable there. Then he got Wed nights from after school till 8. She will not compromise at all, if he can’t pick them up on time, she gets mad, if he misses a day because of work she will not let him have a different one, if he drops them off 5 min late she flips.

The younger one comes as much as possible and we have a great relationship with him, the older one does not even speak to us never mind come over. We have court appointed therapy now and the therapist is blown away by the amount of parental alienation and consistent lack of concern for her kids his ex shows , she refuses to let the therapist see the boy alone. She says things constantly she should not right in front of the boy. It breaks my heart because I know he is never going to be able to be a normal or even somewhat normal kid. He has an unnatural attachment to his mother. It is the worst thing anyone can do to a child. We need to remember our relationship, our lives, our problems are not our children’s! My husband lost a son and two boys are in mental states that will need a lot of fixing as they grow up, because of this horrific woman.

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