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There is nothing more frustrating than a narcissistic alcoholic who will not admit to anything, take blame for anything, or even try to cooperate.
She just says “you are nothing but an evil step- mother, you don’t know anything and I feel bad for my son that he has to live with you. “
Well, ok. We took the boy, he is 13 and finally opened up to us that she would hit him when she got drunk. We knew she was mentally and emotionally abusive but that’s not enough for the courts to do anything. This last time they moved him to live with us, no visiting unless he wants to, he only has to talk to her once a week for an hour, or twice for half hour, etc, etc.
I have manipulated him, I abuse him, I force him to do this and that, tell him what to say and not say to his mother, it just goes on and on.
My question is how long do we have to deal with her constant abuse and slander before we can say it’s enough?
She literally can convince herself things did not happen or that we did them not her? There is no reasoning with her, there is no casual conversations, everything has to be a fight.
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Some of you know my best friend is bipolar, she had years with out becoming manic and then it was one thing after another and it has been a roller coaster ride since.
She has 4 kids, all different dads. When the dad of the 3 boy died of an overdose when we did not even know he was using, she went manic. It was a slow process and took looking closely to see she was falling but I saw it. She trusted the wrong people, lost so much and blamed herself, went back to the hospital. She was in and out for months, could not get stable, then met this punk kid who manipulated her into thinking he was something he wasn’t. She got pregnant again. Baby 4 was a girl, he became abusive. I Didn’t Know!!! He stole the babies gift cards , sold things, was a junkie. I tried to kill him when I found out all this after the fact, it was wrong but, I lost it on him and would have if the hammer wasn’t taken out of my hand. I’m ashamed but will admit I did it. Ok, wait, back up. She hit the line, the fine line between love and hate, dealing with abuse and not. For the first time in the 20 years I have known her she became violent, throwing things, loosing her temper and mind. The police came, he told them to leave the kids with him, they said no way and took them. He knew he was supposed to call me , he knew I had paperwork and all the things to take the kids for the time she was in the hospital, but he was mad. They would not let him keep them, not even his one month old daughter, so he let them take them. Now it has been almost a year! The state of Maine refuses to give her kids back for their own safety. I am over the moon pissed! Her lawyer would not let me help. Dhhs has her feeling like such a failure and bad mother she hasn’t argued at all. She did everything they asked, is doing extra counseling to make better choices, but still missed her daughter growing up.
If someone with out bipolar had a break down after being in an abusive relationship for a year and the police came, took the kids to the state and said they had to do things to get them back, they would do it and get them back, but not her. Junkies’s get their kids back but not a single mother with bipolar. I don’t think it’s right, I wanted to make some noise, but she would not let me. I’m not able to do anything to help. She is still afraid if she makes noise against the state that they will take her visiting rights away.! It’s wrong. It’s prejudice. I don’t understand how the state of Maine can just do it.
Am I being unreasonable? Am I just to close to the situation to see it, should the kids be taken away????
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