Why is the sun rising?
Why are the birds singing?
Why has the world kept living
My heart is shattered, my mind is muck , my body is numb , I can’t get unstuck.
The moment he left me my world split and shattered.
I have never experienced such pain, such anguish as I did on that day, that day you went away.
My best friend, my soul mate, the reason my world spun, my husband, my hero, David Bernier. My love, my life, is gone
I am a procrastinator or am I just lazy? I never leave my house, maybe once or twice a month. I am chaos. I am the opposite of who I used to be. They say you can never go back, is it true here as well? I am unorganized and I don’t finish things.
I have multiple projects started but hardly finish any? Maybe I am not a maker but a collector? I clean the same, start one thing, notice something else and by the end of the day, nothing looks done or finished. I have a plan, a schedule for cleaning and organizing but don’t feel I can use it until my house is finished. I still have boxes packet and my bed is still on the floor. The plan is to tear off the second floor and rebuild it. My living room and dining room will be the same but will get very dirty. This plan has been a plan for 3 years but with COVID and the price of wood, it’s still a plan.
I think the problem is I can’t hold myself accountable for not completing the days list.
Why don’t I leave my house, I am not scared or have anxiety, it’s far from a dangerous area, once I’m out I am perfectly fine? My husband goes to the store or it is Amazon and scheduled pick ups for me.
I don’t like my weight but don’t really try hard to fix it. I look nothing like I used to, besides age.
But I have an amazing life! My husband is the best ever, I don’t worry about money like I used to. Technically I don’t have to do anything but could do anything. Kids have grown to taking care of them selves and I feel my life wasting away. I have had this all for 4 years and have done nothing.