Posted in My Photos of Maine, my thoughts, Parents, Uncategorized, WOW Stuff

My dog got attacked 😩


The neighbors dog, they used to play when he was a puppy, they have played less as they both aged. I believe my pup is 2 years older actually, so they played when the other was a pup.

Anyway, the other dog hasn’t been loose to play in awhile, at first, he ran over and started to play but somehow they ended up fighting. The other dog had his throat and I freaked, it took both dads to get them apart. My poor baby was traumatized. We had to take him to a weekend vets an hour and half away. He had a drain and a lot of stitches put in, he had to be watched so he didn’t itch, he has had to have antibiotics and pain pills twice a day, warm cloth to clean all the stuff up, I think I have been traumatized as much as him!

He got the drain out but still has the stitches, we tried putting socks on his feet so he won’t itch but he just rips them off. We can’t put anything on him like his collar or a cone because it’s his neck.

He still shakes like crazy any time we even look at it. He has just started to act like himself again, it’s been a week today. I’m afraid we aren’t keeping it clean enough or he will scratch a stitch out.

The redness at the top worries me as well.

Posted in my thoughts, Psychology, Shared

Like the New England weather


Sitting here I see it’s snowing, April 17 and it’s snowing. It doesn’t last long and the next thing you know the sun is out, but look out back and the clouds are black as night. The instant change , the difference so close but yet just a turn and it’s different again.

This is me, on one side I am bright and sunny, eager to live, wanting to get out and be in life, be healthy and active, but I don’t , I sit and watch, not sunny but not raining or snowing, just being. I want to start living life instead of just surviving.

I can do that easily enough when my husband is home but he works long hours and then has to sleep, so it’s not always possible for him to be with me. I have few friends and they are like I have been, stay home and watch life passing by. I don’t want to do that anymore, I need to be active and healthy, I want too, but how ?

Join a club, volunteer some place, meet new people, easier said than done.

So I sit, as it’s sunny and bright out one door but gloomy and cloudy out another, yet still, raining on one side.

Posted in My Photos of Maine, photography, Shared, Uncategorized, WOW Stuff

Corn Maze!


Pumpkin picking and a corn maze. Maine traditions, although this was my first time ever going in a corn maze.

My husband was fun and popped his head in the pumpkins! The kid didn’t want to do it and I said do it anyway, his picture shows him crying. I guess my definition of goofy fun is not everyone’s. Jacob and Branden used to do those kind of things with me , and we had fun doing it. David’s son, AKA, kid, is just so different than my boys where.

Got some gourds to try and dry out and preserve, again, never worked before but hey why not try it again!

The picture of the house was a glint of light reflecting enough to catch my eye, I zoomed in and was surprised to see it was this beautiful house! It was so far away, I love zoom!!!

Posted in House Remodeling, My Photos of Maine

It’s starting!!!!! Again.


We have had plans to renovate this year for a year but then the pandemic happened and it all went to poop!!! Everyone was booked, no contractors, needed a basement for the addition, nope can’t do that!!!!!

Ok now that I got that out, we finally have the foundation for the addition started.

And now a hurricane!! Yup! Now it will be another week or something before we can get this back on track.

I also learned hubby wants to put pipe all around the house so more digging has to come, but not for a couple weeks till we can get the right equipment.

I still have the perfect husband, great kids and support from friends, but I’m still frustrated!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Posted in My Photos of Maine, my thoughts, Shared, tips & tricks, Uncategorized, WOW Stuff

Small visitor


Few days I ago I saw the flash of bright red and fluff from the corner of my eye. I caught a glimpse of a huge fat fox as he ran across the small clearing into the woods on the neighbors property. We knew they were around , along with a dozen or so wild turkeys, couple raccoons and the usual chipmunks, deer and squirrels.

My concern was it was the middle of the day and they usually are out at night. My neighbor has seen him a few times and once had a couple pups playing around the yard as he, or she, rested in the shade. Is that right, pups?? Babies, I guess I could have looked that up first! 🙄

Then yesterday I heard her calling my name, she was quietly yelling to me from the yard. I heard get your camera and got all gitty!! This little guy or girl was cautiously coming towards us from the field out back. He stopped and looked when the kids yelled from behind us or any other loud noise drew his attention. He looked us over a couple times and then kept on his business. As we got closer to him I noticed no fear. Curiosity and caution but no fear.

The closer he got the more I thought he looked rough, beaten, he had hair loss and was tiny, very tiny.

I didn’t realize in the heat of the moment my camera focused on the tree instead of the animal!!! 😳🙄

He was eating some of the apples from the tree and just checking things out.

The kids yelled and started running toward us as we tried to quietly tell them NO!!!!!!

Too late. Then, he stopped, turned toward us and just sat down.

He had come as close as he dared, as he stood , giving us one more long look and turned to go, I again noticed he looked like he had seen better times and I felt for him.

He disappeared into the brush and I could not help but wonder why was he alone? He was so little, he could not survive long out here on his own, the hawks and Eagle would grab him if given the chance, then when the cold comes , his half bald body would be frozen in no time. My neighbor and I talked about putting food out for him but we didn’t want him to get to trust us. Humans can be cruel creatures.

Posted in My Photos of Maine, my thoughts, Parents, Shared, tips & tricks, Uncategorized, WOW Stuff

Proud momma


When my son first left for school I was lost, some of you helped by explaining your experience and I appreciated that. I wanted to show you my latest photo of my first born, looks so grown up! He is working in cardiology and decided he will stay with that in Med school. His girlfriend is a fashion designing major. I still miss him and cry when he leaves. I guess that will never change!!

Posted in my thoughts, Parents, Psychology, self-help, Shared, tips & tricks, Uncategorized, WOW Stuff

The shadow addicts


I just read an article on addiction that made it obvious to me that the person who wrote it never has been an addict and probably never knew an addict.

There are many levels of addiction as well as many things a person can be addicted to , I have read that man needs to be addicted to something, work, family, or drugs and alcohol, anything can be an addiction. I am going to address the most known forms of addiction, drugs.

You have addicts to, heroine, cocaine, crack, pills, uppers and downers, most pain reliever pills can be addictive. Some people start from dr prescriptions, other get turned on from friends or just being bored. They say most addicts are people trying to forget or trying not to feel, maybe trying to compensate for something in their life, or something not in their lives, either way I think that is more of a mental addiction.

I personally became addicted to pain reliever pills that I was prescribed for years, moving, getting involved into a not so healthy crowd, and having to change dr, I started buying on the street. Once I decided it was enough, I went back to the dr and was put on suboxen, a drug they prescribe to help people get over addiction, like methadone, it has a blocker for opioids in it so if they are taken you can’t get high, ( although I’m sure people tried everything) the most you can do is nod off.

The drugs they made to help people get off street drugs are so much worse, you trade one for another and those make you sicker if you go with out. It is worse, it is so much harder to get off suboxen then any of the actual drugs! From reading and hearing it from people I know, you can get off pills and feel almost normal again in a week or so depending on the person, with suboxen it can be months if not years before you feel normal, again, depending on the person and the amount and length they were on it. Here in Maine you go to a clinic and they don’t wean you off they jack up your doses and don’t push people to get clean, which is what a clinic is supposed to do. That’s a whole different article though!

I am physically addicted, yes there is a difference, I have had a couple doctors tell me my body could not handle detoxing, which I know is true, but that’s cold turkey. If I didn’t get the nurses to get the papers in to the insurance company so they could get them to the pharmacy before the weekend I have had to go without, I ended up in the hospital. That was when I had a dr who only gave me enough for one day after my appointment. The dr I have now believes in me and gives me enough for, just in case. I have been taking suboxen for about ten years give or take. I have tried to wean off but failed multiple times. My endocrinologist just told me I have to do the weaning in more triple times between dose changes, so months not weeks. The last step is the hardest and I have been putting it off. All of my disabilities revolve around pain and fatigue, weaning causes pain and fatigue.

So it is not so black and white as some may think and it is not always junkies trying to get the next fix. I never sold things or robbed anyone, I never did or said anything in front of my kids and they never ever went with out anything. There are people who do and some even loose their kids, but not all. There happens to be quite a few people like me out there, we are just the ones you don’t hear about.

Posted in my thoughts, Parents, Psychology, Shared, Uncategorized, WOW Stuff

Lost the kids for having bipolar ???


Some of you know my best friend is bipolar, she had years with out becoming manic and then it was one thing after another and it has been a roller coaster ride since.

She has 4 kids, all different dads. When the dad of the 3 boy died of an overdose when we did not even know he was using, she went manic. It was a slow process and took looking closely to see she was falling but I saw it. She trusted the wrong people, lost so much and blamed herself, went back to the hospital. She was in and out for months, could not get stable, then met this punk kid who manipulated her into thinking he was something he wasn’t. She got pregnant again. Baby 4 was a girl, he became abusive. I Didn’t Know!!! He stole the babies gift cards , sold things, was a junkie. I tried to kill him when I found out all this after the fact, it was wrong but, I lost it on him and would have if the hammer wasn’t taken out of my hand. I’m ashamed but will admit I did it. Ok, wait, back up. She hit the line, the fine line between love and hate, dealing with abuse and not. For the first time in the 20 years I have known her she became violent, throwing things, loosing her temper and mind. The police came, he told them to leave the kids with him, they said no way and took them. He knew he was supposed to call me , he knew I had paperwork and all the things to take the kids for the time she was in the hospital, but he was mad. They would not let him keep them, not even his one month old daughter, so he let them take them. Now it has been almost a year! The state of Maine refuses to give her kids back for their own safety. I am over the moon pissed! Her lawyer would not let me help. Dhhs has her feeling like such a failure and bad mother she hasn’t argued at all. She did everything they asked, is doing extra counseling to make better choices, but still missed her daughter growing up.

If someone with out bipolar had a break down after being in an abusive relationship for a year and the police came, took the kids to the state and said they had to do things to get them back, they would do it and get them back, but not her. Junkies’s get their kids back but not a single mother with bipolar. I don’t think it’s right, I wanted to make some noise, but she would not let me. I’m not able to do anything to help. She is still afraid if she makes noise against the state that they will take her visiting rights away.! It’s wrong. It’s prejudice. I don’t understand how the state of Maine can just do it.

Am I being unreasonable? Am I just to close to the situation to see it, should the kids be taken away????