Posted in my thoughts, Parents

It’s a big mess


I haven’t been on in a bit but I find the need to vent or ramble, whichever you prefer. I have talked a lot about my husbands ex wife, closet drunk, extreme parental alienation, and of course a narcissist. For 12 years he tried to get her family to do something about her drinking but they didn’t want to deal with it, now she has lost all liver functions. She has been in the hospital for over a week, they are being extremely quiet and secretive about the whole thing and the only reason we even know for sure it’s her liver is from her calling to talk to the son who will come here, and his comments on her eyes and skin being yellow.

Her mother told my husband, this was immediate family only matter. Ummm, let’s see now?, married 12 years • father of her only two kids • I think he is immediate family!!!!

They have told the kids to prepare, but then have been saying stay positive and not telling them that YES she is going to die. I feel they need to be able to say goodbye. I can’t imagine the mental pain they will always feel if they can’t say goodbye.

I really am so angry they are not letting us know if we should be preparing! If we have to take in his kids full time then we need to make a lot of changes!

His older son hates us both because of his mother, they just going to throw him at us knowing it’s the last thing he would want?

Her mothering skills are totally opposite of mine and having to adjust to kids who have not been taught respect, empathy, to pick up after themselves, to do anything for themselves at all is really hard for me. Both are ADHD but I think the older is actually autistic but she refuses to see it or have them re-evaluated although it has been since they first started school since it’s been done. Now they are 8th grade and high school.

So this is one of the many what I am doing , rants to come.

Advertisements
Posted in House Remodeling, kids and crafts and more!!!, My Photos of Maine, my thoughts, organized, Parents, photography, Psychology, Reviews, self-help, Shared, tips & tricks, Uncategorized, WOW Stuff

Everything’s a Quote!


I just want to express my frustration, seems everything I do is a quote .

I use my app and it is outdated, deleted and reinstalled, nope still the same. If I go to the site on a browser then I have my updated categories and things , I have continued to battle this but I realize at the moment the site looks horrible so,

I’m sorry!!!!

Please bare with me.

🙏

Thank you.

Tracey

Posted in kids and crafts and more!!!, My Photos of Maine, Parents, Psychology

The therapist


My husband and his older son have been going to see a therapist, at different times because he “hates” him. His ex refuses to let him go in a lone , she even after being asked and told multiple times to stop, talks about him right in front of the boy. She has made up lots of whopper stories about both of us. She has more than just a negative attitude but is the biggest narcissist I have ever met.

After months of this weekly it has come to the point that the therapist is writing to the court to make her recommendations. She thinks Garrett has autism, ex freaked out, she thinks he should be re-evaluated, ex said no, so she said point blank, You are nothing but negative, you have put many things in to this child’s head, you are the poster example of parental alienation and you also need individual therapy! We have her printing it all up and on our next check in phone call going to throw it all out. All that we have on her, all she has done and we will see what happens. She has made claims and accusations but has no proof of anything. We do.

Posted in Parents, Psychology, Uncategorized

Coparenting with a narcissists sucks!!!!


My husband has two boys from his previous marriage to the devil, lol, ok , a horrible closet drunk narcissist.

Quick back story, After they met the classic signs of abuse that of course he did not see, became apparent to his friends and family, isolation, guilt trips, controlling, after awhile got control of all the money, threw away all his hobbies ( train collections and most of his music stuff) when they moved in together. At one point he was fed up and was going to leave and she “accidentally ” forgot to take her birth control got pregnant and David being who he is stayed. After married for 2 years he had his own bedroom, after the two boys started to grow up, she would chase him away down to the basement to his work space and kept the boys in her bedroom all the time. They did not go outside ever cause they would get “stolen,” David was not allowed to have a smart phone or any computers, he was not allowed on family trips, you get the point. Every night she would pass out drunk, at first he put her to bed but then just left her, she made fun of him in front of the kids, they told me when we first met, “dad was not allowed to help with homework because he was to stupid, “. This he put up with for ten years, he did not see or talk to his family, only left the house to work, and was miserable but says he was scared to leave her alone with the boys till they were older.

After we got together I started making him stand up to her, stopping her from dropping the kids off late, picking them up early, planning things on his visit days, she hated it, and me. She did everything to turn them against him, told them him and I had an affair, ( one example) and she succeeded turning the oldest to hate him. He is now 13, is diagnosed with ADHD but seems more autistic really, still calls them mommy and daddy, slept in her bed till he was 12, does not make friends easy having personal space issues I guess. He only eats chicken nuggets and fries and a few more other things, will not try anything new unless it’s a video game. Will not play sports, will not go anywhere with out his mother, she goes on all field trips, takes him to his one friends house and has to stay for a few minutes to make sure he wants to stay, he will have complete mental breakdowns screaming, crying, hides under things and smacks himself in the head. He stopped talking to us first, then would not eat her because we were gross, brought a sleeping bag and slept in his clothes and shoes. This was two nights a month. His visits were, sat at 9 till Sunday at 4 every other weekend at first cause he lived with a roommate and the boys were not very comfortable there. Then he got Wed nights from after school till 8. She will not compromise at all, if he can’t pick them up on time, she gets mad, if he misses a day because of work she will not let him have a different one, if he drops them off 5 min late she flips.

The younger one comes as much as possible and we have a great relationship with him, the older one does not even speak to us never mind come over. We have court appointed therapy now and the therapist is blown away by the amount of parental alienation and consistent lack of concern for her kids his ex shows , she refuses to let the therapist see the boy alone. She says things constantly she should not right in front of the boy. It breaks my heart because I know he is never going to be able to be a normal or even somewhat normal kid. He has an unnatural attachment to his mother. It is the worst thing anyone can do to a child. We need to remember our relationship, our lives, our problems are not our children’s! My husband lost a son and two boys are in mental states that will need a lot of fixing as they grow up, because of this horrific woman.