Self Control and Organization
I was a size 6-8 my whole life until about 15 years ago. I was diagnosed with Addison’s disease when I was 22, this was 8 years later. I am ashamed to say I weigh 202. Pounds and I feel disgusting. I have physical limitations that I do not fully understand the reason for, I have fibromyalgia, ok, I have arthritis, ok, but I have a swelling in my hip and “tire” area no doctor has been able to explain! That was when I started limiting my activity and started to gain weight. I just figured out I can not have dairy and thought that would be it, but, nope. It is not my bones, we know that for sure. I think it has something to do with air, I can get a lot of gas sometimes after the swelling comes but it is so severe I look crooked! It is visible to anyone that one side is bigger, it has always been the left side. If I am physically active when it is already swollen, it gets worse and can hurt all the way down my leg. Everyone just says,” there is nothing there”? Yup, just my hip. But it swells. My dr said to “get regular ” but I have never been!!
So, I need to loose weight. I hate the way I look. But I just can’t fig out how with limited mobility. My dr has suggested water physical therapy. I just feel like it is hopeless. Of course my husband loves me and always gets upset when I say I am fat or something, says he still sees the 15 year old girl he met but, he will see it someday.
Oh boy!! So I have days or weeks that I feel like I have no energy at all and then I have days where I can get tons of things done, after a long talk with one of my docs, she explained how, “I am not thinking about the whole picture.” Mental, Emotional and Physical things effect me soo much more with my Addisons Disease. I was stressed and worried for weeks, if not months, about going to court with my husband against his ex wife, we won, in case you didn’t read it, but the effects of all that still had to go through me. I was emotionally exhausted. It took me almost two weeks of down time to recover and when I did, I go, go, go and don’t pace it out. I exhausted myself physically in two days and then could not figure out why I was down again.
That makes soooooooo much sense!!!!!
So now, I have to learn how to pace myself everyday and maybe I will have less down days and more up days.
This is so hard!!! If I sit down to rest, then I get tired, in the time it has taken me to write this, my eyes are now getting heavy. (Sleep disorder)
So sit and rest long enough for it to count but not long enough to make me tired and suck my energy out anyway!!! Uugggghhhhhhhh.
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