Posted in kids and crafts and more!!!, My Photos of Maine, Parents, Psychology

The therapist


My husband and his older son have been going to see a therapist, at different times because he “hates” him. His ex refuses to let him go in a lone , she even after being asked and told multiple times to stop, talks about him right in front of the boy. She has made up lots of whopper stories about both of us. She has more than just a negative attitude but is the biggest narcissist I have ever met.

After months of this weekly it has come to the point that the therapist is writing to the court to make her recommendations. She thinks Garrett has autism, ex freaked out, she thinks he should be re-evaluated, ex said no, so she said point blank, You are nothing but negative, you have put many things in to this child’s head, you are the poster example of parental alienation and you also need individual therapy! We have her printing it all up and on our next check in phone call going to throw it all out. All that we have on her, all she has done and we will see what happens. She has made claims and accusations but has no proof of anything. We do.

Posted in Parents, Psychology, Uncategorized

Coparenting with a narcissists sucks!!!!


My husband has two boys from his previous marriage to the devil, lol, ok , a horrible closet drunk narcissist.

Quick back story, After they met the classic signs of abuse that of course he did not see, became apparent to his friends and family, isolation, guilt trips, controlling, after awhile got control of all the money, threw away all his hobbies ( train collections and most of his music stuff) when they moved in together. At one point he was fed up and was going to leave and she “accidentally ” forgot to take her birth control got pregnant and David being who he is stayed. After married for 2 years he had his own bedroom, after the two boys started to grow up, she would chase him away down to the basement to his work space and kept the boys in her bedroom all the time. They did not go outside ever cause they would get “stolen,” David was not allowed to have a smart phone or any computers, he was not allowed on family trips, you get the point. Every night she would pass out drunk, at first he put her to bed but then just left her, she made fun of him in front of the kids, they told me when we first met, “dad was not allowed to help with homework because he was to stupid, “. This he put up with for ten years, he did not see or talk to his family, only left the house to work, and was miserable but says he was scared to leave her alone with the boys till they were older.

After we got together I started making him stand up to her, stopping her from dropping the kids off late, picking them up early, planning things on his visit days, she hated it, and me. She did everything to turn them against him, told them him and I had an affair, ( one example) and she succeeded turning the oldest to hate him. He is now 13, is diagnosed with ADHD but seems more autistic really, still calls them mommy and daddy, slept in her bed till he was 12, does not make friends easy having personal space issues I guess. He only eats chicken nuggets and fries and a few more other things, will not try anything new unless it’s a video game. Will not play sports, will not go anywhere with out his mother, she goes on all field trips, takes him to his one friends house and has to stay for a few minutes to make sure he wants to stay, he will have complete mental breakdowns screaming, crying, hides under things and smacks himself in the head. He stopped talking to us first, then would not eat her because we were gross, brought a sleeping bag and slept in his clothes and shoes. This was two nights a month. His visits were, sat at 9 till Sunday at 4 every other weekend at first cause he lived with a roommate and the boys were not very comfortable there. Then he got Wed nights from after school till 8. She will not compromise at all, if he can’t pick them up on time, she gets mad, if he misses a day because of work she will not let him have a different one, if he drops them off 5 min late she flips.

The younger one comes as much as possible and we have a great relationship with him, the older one does not even speak to us never mind come over. We have court appointed therapy now and the therapist is blown away by the amount of parental alienation and consistent lack of concern for her kids his ex shows , she refuses to let the therapist see the boy alone. She says things constantly she should not right in front of the boy. It breaks my heart because I know he is never going to be able to be a normal or even somewhat normal kid. He has an unnatural attachment to his mother. It is the worst thing anyone can do to a child. We need to remember our relationship, our lives, our problems are not our children’s! My husband lost a son and two boys are in mental states that will need a lot of fixing as they grow up, because of this horrific woman.

Posted in kids and crafts and more!!!, my thoughts, Parents, Psychology

My heart shatters more every day I do not have contact with my grandchildren. Their mother uses them as pawns and anyone who she gets mad at for any reason she takes them from. She has told them that their father does not love them and he picked his beer over them. I can’t bear to imagine what she told them about me!!! She is a horrible person and I do not say that often about people but I have been trying to put together a case for grandparents rights. They lived with me for over a year, always would run to me open armed and we had a very strong bond. Now it has been almost a YEAR since I have seen them and I just can’t believe it! She knows how much they love me , she knows everything but just doesn’t care. She puts herself before them and always has. She lost her first child to the father and if I bring all this stuff to court and they ask me I would take them in a heart beat. Even with all my issues I know those babies need someone to stand up for them. This week my little pickle will be 4 years old. I missed her whole 3 year , almost of time I can never get back. I’m so scared to actually loose them . I know I have been holding back because I am scared I would loose but I need to believe they would be better with me in there lives than not.

Posted in kids and crafts and more!!!, my thoughts, Parents, tips & tricks, Uncategorized, WOW Stuff

Tornado named Atlas


Reading a recent post from someone I admire made me realize I had not posted about my dog since we adopted him. Atlas was a rescue from Florida, very small and long with a head too big for his body when we met him, but he was our kind of crazy, so he became one of us. Bassadors are half Bassett hound and half Labrador, so short legs, long body! Bassett hounds are the most stubborn to train and he is almost two and still chews everything!!!He hates his nails being cut so has ripped one pair of my bed sheets running around going crazy and my hardwood floors have suffered the most!

At the same time with all the stress comes the love and unconditional friendship, he makes me feel safe when my husband is away, he has helped me with getting outside more and being able to leave the house easier on my own. He is ours and we may never be done with his training but he wants to learn and he seems happy.

Posted in kids and crafts and more!!!, my thoughts, Parents, Psychology, self-help

I am terrified


I have two biological boys, one is in college and the other is 16 , Branden, and lives at home with me and David. I have always counted on him to be the responsible one, he was the common sense of the two, I sent him with his older brother and friends so I knew they would be safe. He is polite, empathetic and cares for everyone. The only things I have ever been able to complain about with him has been his grades in school and his inability to keep his room clean. I know I caused most of his cleaning issues myself by getting tired of waiting or thinking he was doing something wrong, and doing it myself. I also know I always just pushed them to pass, not to do their best, I know everything we do and say to our kids or in front of our kids forms the adult they become.

Today I was hit with seeing my son was high. He had three friends over, I know they do not have the option to hang out other than school together, my son NEVER asks for anything, literally he has to think for days to tell me birthday and Xmas things he wants, so when he does ask I usually say yes, hence the three boys over. He openly told me one of them smokes pot and asked me if I would tell him he could not be friends with him, we had a discussion on pot then. No , his friend does not offer it to him, no , he is not stupid he saw what it did to his brother, he would not get in a car with someone but call me instead, etc, etc, etc. All the same things he has said most of his life. Then he went outside with his friends later that day and got high.

I am feeling so many things and I have a ball of emotions growing bigger by the minute growing inside my gut. I know teens try drugs , usually though it is because they are either , trying to fit in or because they are unhappy and it is a release.

I feel betrayed like I do not even know him, I feel lied to and played like a piano. I have the pamphlets and all the information on how to talk to your kids about drugs and how to tell if your child is high and so on, but , none of them prepared me for this.

I feel lost, I do not know how to handle this.

Posted in kids and crafts and more!!!, Parents, self-help, Shared, tips & tricks, Uncategorized, WOW Stuff

Gifted and talented!


www.youtube.com/channel/UCW5JYBGK_HXOEo9ZA2N-b5A

This is for my 11 year old step son, the one out of two that doesn’t totally hate me, he is gifted and talented in school, above average smarts of course, but, is made fun of and teased for things. Target for bullies, mom favors his brother, he has had it rough for awhile now, this is his you tube channel and even if you don’t ever watch videos, can you please subscribe??? Please? He started a gamer channel two years ago and even thou he knows it won’t go huge or get famous, he still hopes for more than what he has. His self esteem is very low right now and you don’t have to watch them, I have the notifications turned off for all my you tube stuff so when I want to look for stuff I don’t have a bunch of notifications I have to clear first. It would be your good deed for the day!! Lol it has been months since he has had a new subscriber so he is getting a little doubtful. Please help me bring up his faith again. Thank you

Blessed Be.

Posted in my thoughts, Parents, Psychology, self-help, tips & tricks, Uncategorized, WOW Stuff

There or not there


Two boys, same father, mothers are very similar, same town, about 6 years apart.

One mother says that’s enough, gets help and tells dear old dad, do not call or visit unless you are sober. That was about ten years ago, haven’t heard from him since.

Second mother (and dad have a daughter as well ) actually gets into serious car accident chasing dad, which has been the way for the past few years and is in a wheel chair for the rest of her life. While she is in the hospital, dad does not take care of them, gram does, dad does not come around, does not help. Mom gets out and still insist the kids can see dad anytime they want or he wants.

Son from mother one, is 20, has a personal physical trainer business while putting himself through college on his way to Med school next year.

Son from mother two, is 26, has three kids and signed off on one of them at birth, is an alcoholic and has been in and out of youth centers and then jails his whole life. Currently does not have kids, even though he knows they are in a bad place, is a narcissist that takes the easiest way in ever way.

There is such thing as a parent being more harmful to their kids by being around then not. It is a choice made in the best interest of the child, harder for the single parent, puts more on that parents shoulders and a lot of times makes them the bad guy, but,

As a parent, we can handle it. We can carry it so they don’t have to, we swallow the names and hatred they may feel towards us , because we can handle it. The destruction caused by thinking dad, or mom, left them, didn’t want them, didn’t love them, all of it, any of it, would be a lifetime of pain they would be dealing with and may never fully heal from. We can let them hate us, think we sent them away, let them think whatever they need to until they are old enough to know and understand the truth, because we can handle it. We can carry it, so they don’t have to.

Posted in my thoughts, Parents

Parenting Fail


I started therapy as soon as I knew I was pregnant. I was a messed up person, all my life I had done things I could not understand or explain, I was in the mental ward of the hospital once for a month as a teenager and it did nothing but mess me up more. I lied to anyone who would listen, always felt inside I was just made bad. I took the normal families teasing and messing around personally, and just didn’t understand why I felt so sad inside at times.

That was just as a teenager. I was 22 when I got pregnant. I had multiple abusive relationship and allowed myself to be bossed around and insulted, I couldn’t explain my feeling and turned to anger. I had just recovered from almost dying from the doctors not diagnosing my Addison’s disease till the last-minute and now had to depend on a little pill just to stay alive.

My sons father was an abusive one and an alcoholic who I went back and forth with till Jacob was a year old and we lost everything in a house fire. He went to jail for three years and I became free of him. I knew I had to work on so much to be able to raise my boy so he didn’t turn into his father or a serial killer!

I thought I failed till he turned 18 and literally flipped a switch. He had been caught shoplifting, drank and smoked pot, and I had to have the police take him to school many times. Now he’s 20. He is home for summer break from college which he got into and started from going to job Corp which used to be just were judges sent kids, but, he has his diploma even tho he had to take extra classes to get, he has a CNA license, an ECT license and personal trainer license, but, he is still completely inconsiderate, kinda selfish and seems to have no empathy. I know it could be so much worse but it is killing me! We have so much on our plates right now but he just ads more. Doesn’t seem to care or just doesn’t remember anything I tell him or ask him. I feel I failed him. We’re did I go wrong , what did I do, or not do to make him become like this?, especially since I am a “give the shirt off my back kind “of person….