Posted in my thoughts, Parents, Psychology, self-help, tips & tricks, Uncategorized, WOW Stuff

There or not there


Two boys, same father, mothers are very similar, same town, about 6 years apart.

One mother says that’s enough, gets help and tells dear old dad, do not call or visit unless you are sober. That was about ten years ago, haven’t heard from him since.

Second mother (and dad have a daughter as well ) actually gets into serious car accident chasing dad, which has been the way for the past few years and is in a wheel chair for the rest of her life. While she is in the hospital, dad does not take care of them, gram does, dad does not come around, does not help. Mom gets out and still insist the kids can see dad anytime they want or he wants.

Son from mother one, is 20, has a personal physical trainer business while putting himself through college on his way to Med school next year.

Son from mother two, is 26, has three kids and signed off on one of them at birth, is an alcoholic and has been in and out of youth centers and then jails his whole life. Currently does not have kids, even though he knows they are in a bad place, is a narcissist that takes the easiest way in ever way.

There is such thing as a parent being more harmful to their kids by being around then not. It is a choice made in the best interest of the child, harder for the single parent, puts more on that parents shoulders and a lot of times makes them the bad guy, but,

As a parent, we can handle it. We can carry it so they don’t have to, we swallow the names and hatred they may feel towards us , because we can handle it. The destruction caused by thinking dad, or mom, left them, didn’t want them, didn’t love them, all of it, any of it, would be a lifetime of pain they would be dealing with and may never fully heal from. We can let them hate us, think we sent them away, let them think whatever they need to until they are old enough to know and understand the truth, because we can handle it. We can carry it, so they don’t have to.

Posted in my thoughts, Parents

Parenting Fail


I started therapy as soon as I knew I was pregnant. I was a messed up person, all my life I had done things I could not understand or explain, I was in the mental ward of the hospital once for a month as a teenager and it did nothing but mess me up more. I lied to anyone who would listen, always felt inside I was just made bad. I took the normal families teasing and messing around personally, and just didn’t understand why I felt so sad inside at times.

That was just as a teenager. I was 22 when I got pregnant. I had multiple abusive relationship and allowed myself to be bossed around and insulted, I couldn’t explain my feeling and turned to anger. I had just recovered from almost dying from the doctors not diagnosing my Addison’s disease till the last-minute and now had to depend on a little pill just to stay alive.

My sons father was an abusive one and an alcoholic who I went back and forth with till Jacob was a year old and we lost everything in a house fire. He went to jail for three years and I became free of him. I knew I had to work on so much to be able to raise my boy so he didn’t turn into his father or a serial killer!

I thought I failed till he turned 18 and literally flipped a switch. He had been caught shoplifting, drank and smoked pot, and I had to have the police take him to school many times. Now he’s 20. He is home for summer break from college which he got into and started from going to job Corp which used to be just were judges sent kids, but, he has his diploma even tho he had to take extra classes to get, he has a CNA license, an ECT license and personal trainer license, but, he is still completely inconsiderate, kinda selfish and seems to have no empathy. I know it could be so much worse but it is killing me! We have so much on our plates right now but he just ads more. Doesn’t seem to care or just doesn’t remember anything I tell him or ask him. I feel I failed him. We’re did I go wrong , what did I do, or not do to make him become like this?, especially since I am a “give the shirt off my back kind “of person….

Posted in my thoughts, Parents, Psychology, Uncategorized

Narcissist, psychopath, sociopath,


Both lie to the kids, both treated the men like crap, both are mentally and emotionally abusive, they are both evasive, manipulative and seem to have all the power they think they have.

I can’t think of another way to stress myself, frustrate and mentally exhaust myself then to have to deal with both of these woman on a daily bases!

David’s ex will try to only say or do anything when I am not around cause she knows I stand right up to her and give it all back. She has no concerns for her boys hearing anything cause she always seems to be able to make it our fault somehow.

When we had just moved and went to get the boys once , she was drunk and came over to the car to complain he wasn’t putting the child support direct deposit anymore, she said to him, “look at you, you are all, unkept,!” I popped my head up above the car on my side to be eye-level with her and told her that she didn’t need to worry how he looked , and I said,” I like his hair grown out like that and told him he should keep it that way. ” She replied in a very snooty way , with her hand going from her waist up into the air and with her son standing next to her, “Well why don’t you just go fuck him then!” Then after some days later we were told by the little one that mom had told them it was all because she had always wanted him to grow his hair out for her but he had always said no.

Now they have had the huge task of keeping her out of the alcohol and we can do nothing? They are old enough to call for help if they think they will need it. That was the response given to us my the state. So mental and emotional abuse are not actually considered a problem in the state of Maine.

My grandkids have seemed to disappear, I called the state and left a message that my grandsons school has not seen him in two weeks. We shall see how that turns out.

I have a great relationship with my husband, a dream like intensely easy, relaxed, open and perfect for us relationship. I have great boys, a new house that we are fixing into our dream home, so many good things going for the first time in my life but these two thorns in my side still manage to keep me awake at night, give me horrible thoughts of these kids futures and drain me.

I have through the years kept journals, diary or just a reminder note in my devices on stupid things my grandkids mother has done and now that I want them, now that it is time to start fighting, I can’t find any of them! I have a new computer, they must be there, somewhere.

David filed a motion to modify for his child support even tho since we did that his pay has gone back up , we are still pushing for all the other things we requested as well.

To have the kids every other week during the summer, to have her reminded she is to include and consult with him on things that concern the boys health and welfare in any way, to stop trying to turn them against him and , or, us! Some other things that she had a total fit over, he also has a very good medical plan that would save her a lot of out of pocket but has refused to allow him to put the boys on.

Since they made the order, he has a new job, a house with a mortgage and a disabled wife with two dependents. Normally a new wife and step kids are not part of the consideration but since I have no income we are. Normally he would be told it was his problem he has a mortgage now not his kids but I think considering my kids deserve to have a good life as well it will not be the same. We are now waiting for the court date.

I think hate is a strong word that I very rarely use but I really think I hate both of those people.

Posted in my thoughts, Parents, Psychology

Burnt out


It is one stupid idea after another, Im trying constantly to prove this and that are wrong, wondering how can they not see the damage they are putting on them?

Since David ant I got together his social path ex wife has done everything possible to turn those two boys against him. She started it the day they were born. The marriage was a sham, two years in he had his own room but she was a closet drunk so he stayed for them. Now he realizes how bad that was and her drinking has caught up to her. The drs said no more drinking at all. She is an alcoholic and coming home to her two kids. They want to help mom of course, so they are told to break any alcohol they see her with. Don’t let her drink. So now these two young boys are given the responsibility of keeping an alcoholic away from alcohol!

If anything goes wrong they will blame themselves! REALLY!!!!

In the same sentence nana says, they are all that matters, if she wants to drink let her it will be her fault not mine and they asked what they could do to help,

Then we have the grandkids stupid mother who has decided her new man is now the kids daddy, my grandson has been out of school for a week and when I try to ask I am told not to call back or she will put a pfa on me! My stepson is in jail so she is doing whatever she wants with those kids and along with her mother who helped her rob me a couple years ago trusting type and her bipolar self who knows what is going on. She has been a big balls of lies and more lies since day one, so many she will totally forget and not have a clue what I am talking about but when I sent her a screenshot of her saying it, I am the bad guy, I am the one whose is denied the kids for months.

Has the world always been filled with so many narcissistic parents?

Is that how the world got like this is it just keeps going generation after generation??

Posted in kids and crafts and more!!!, my thoughts, Parents

I hate my grandbabies mother


Hate is a very strong word that I do not use lightly but dealing with her for the past 5 years has truly been horrifying. To say she is a narcissistic person would be putting it lightly. Short version, she is a horrible mother, and I could go on and on about all the things we have had to go through with her. My step son is spineless and does not stand up to her at all even though she has got married, every guy she has been with is the new daddy and at this point he is not even aloud around them, to even talk to them or anything. He just takes it. He will loose them.

She hates how much they love me , she is so mentally and emotionally abusive to them and uses them over everyone to get what she wants. They were here with us Friday to Sunday in which time they went outside to play and my grandson playing with his skateboard, crashed. He was scared more than anything and calmed down very quickly with a skinned knee, scratch on his neck going to his shoulder and a fat lip. She flipped out and in the argument sent a picture of his knee and it was way worse than it had been here. No surprise, her mom had them but she didn’t say anything so it all went on me. I have bent over backwards for her, she robbed me of almost 700$ plus the money I gave to them for everything , supporting them for months at a time, it just goes on but once again it is I will never see them again, loose her number, on and on and on. I get so stressed and upset it usually makes me sick. I know I could not handle raising them on my own but have thought of taking them for years. Her husband is an actual good guy to them so it has helped them out a lot having him around but now I am stuck once again with decisions, wait till she needs something and calls, try to lie and smooth my way back in or just spend tons of money going for grandparents rights.

The worst thing about it all is what she is doing to them .

And, David’s ex wife is just as bad but in different ways. One is bad enough, but two!!!

Posted in my thoughts, Parents, self-help, tips & tricks, WOW Stuff

Advice?


I’m so torn up inside, I have been trying not to cry consistently, part of me says fine if that’s the way he wants it then let it be.

The other part says no, u don’t get to call me mom just when u want to, either I am or I am not.

I haven’t talked to him, he may have said not to tell me anything

Or, she’s doing it because she is enjoying the attention and she is and has only seen the good side.

I’m the one that got nasty messages from angry people who’s car he stole.

I’m torn, what do I do???

(For full story see previous post, y am I so bothered?)

Fetch rewards


This app is great! You scan in receipts from any of your shopping trips and earn coins for things you buy. No coupons, nothing else! You earn 25 coins for loading a receipt and more coins for the amount u spend on certain brands , coins add up for rewards. So, you r shopping anyway, y not take one min to capture ur receipt and earn from it!?!? No brainer!?!?!

Get an automatic 2,000 points after loading your first receipt with this code and start on your way to money or gift cards!!!

RX0TK

go to the App Store and look up Fetch Rewards today!!!!

Posted in kids and crafts and more!!!, my thoughts, Parents, photography, Reviews, Shared, tips & tricks, Uncategorized, WOW Stuff

Be the change


https://m.facebook.com/story.php?story_fbid=1140118569456545&id=100003752397939

This is regarding the man on the sex offenders registry that has been terrorizing our kids here in Maine taking pictures of them and then posting them on his social sites with crude and disgusting remarks. This man thinks sex with children should be legal!!!! We need help tightening the leash on these guys and not allowing things like this to happen. The police say they can do nothing because of his rights to photograph anyone in public.

Posted in kids and crafts and more!!!, Parents, Reviews, Shared, tips & tricks, WOW Stuff

Magic Tracks Scam!


We wanted to order these for the grandkids and thought this seemed like a good deal, but, I unchecked the box for the extensions but got charged anyway, then to get it by Christmas it was another 6.99. Now on the site it says may not arrive by Xmas but didn’t before. It’s a 50 waste of money when you can just go to Walmart and pay less for two packs.

Don’t fall for it!!

Posted in my thoughts, Parents, Shared, Uncategorized

New light


In the past eight months exactly sept 1, there have been so many drastic changes in my life. All for the better in one way or another.

I met my soul mate, again.

We bought a house

We moved in together which means a new town and new school, all new streets and neighbors.

I was diagnosed with cervical cancer to add to my list of health issues.

They removed all the cervical cancer!

Learning to DIY everything from windows to floors to lights and faucets!

I have never had my own yard nevermind an acre! !

Getting married in one month and 14 days, doing almost all of it ourselves.

My life hasn’t been the worst but I have seen my share of horror and evil in this world and believe everything in my life has been preparing me for this, my happy ending.

I struggled to be a disabled mom and dad to my son’s who I wanted to grow to be healthy and happy young men going out to live full lives as adults and not feeling the need to compensate for what they didn’t have as boys. A father, money, a home and a mother who wasn’t sickly. My focus has been on myself and my family mentally and emotionally for so long that once my older son left home for school, I felt a little lost. My other boy is 14, 6 feet tall and full of confidence as to who he is. That’s when David came into my life after 25 years. I realized he was gods way of saying,” it’s ok to find love and let go, be happy, let all that work pay off,” and that’s exactly what it has been like for 8 months.

Posted in kids and crafts and more!!!, my thoughts, Parents, photography, Reviews, Shared, tips & tricks, WOW Stuff

Sure your my son???


​https://www.facebook.com/donate/464424923892950/

My amazing son is turning 19 on May 14. Jacob has been following his dreams and reaching for the stars. He has donated his birthday to make a wish foundation. This is his message::
When I was younger, my mother gave our family everything we wanted whether or not she could afford it. Some people out there don’t have that same luxury, some don’t have enough money to put food on the table for their families or to give their children nice things. It’s unfortunate that allot more suffer from this than me or anyone should feel comfortable with. I want to dedicate my birthday to giving back to others, to helping people who can’t help themselves, we all have the opportunity to change somebody’s life and all it takes is a small donation of $20. That $20 could feed a child, or save a family from the streets, or put clothes on somebody’s back. You can make a difference, all you have to do is try.

Help make a wish!!!!!