My husband exwife has been a nightmare since day one, it’s the ” he went and found his soul mate and got happy” thing. The closet drunk went and drank her liver to death, we thought she was going to die. Then the family stopped talking to us, stressing about adding two more kids to the house full time, allll the things that come with that very horrific thought, they have a cat, one of them hates us both, etc, etc,
To update, she lives. She came home from the hospital and if she can stay sober for two years then they will give her a transplant. WOW!
She has caused serious mental and emotional issues to those two boys, so part of me just thinks die already!
Then you have the boys, never taught respect, to clean up after themselves, empathy is non existent, they have been spoiled beyond imagination and still treated as much as babies as possible. The older one treated differently because he is “special” so the younger one is the one blamed for everything, and knows it.
I have such a hard time with the younger one. The older one does not visit at all. I know he needs meds for his ADHD but he takes 3 pills a day and seems to me to only get his hyperactivity under control. I get frustrated, impatient, aggravated, and plain stressed with him as it is when he is here for 3 days so living with us scares me to death! The things he does not know are the things I demanded my kids knew. How in the word do I switch my believes and parenting ?
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At 21, he has a vehicle, apartment, and is working at a hospital making 26. an hour as a technician, plus another part time job. He has gone off to college and lived in the dorms but this is actually moving out! Totally different! I cried like a baby! Lol
I made him some, Open When , cards. I printed some envelopes and glued them together and then put my notes inside. I labeled them, Open When~ you finish unpacking, after your first day at work, when you had a hard day, etc, etc.
you are only limited by your imagination and things to say! If you go to Pinterest you can find some printable stuff to help out!
My husband and his older son have been going to see a therapist, at different times because he “hates” him. His ex refuses to let him go in a lone , she even after being asked and told multiple times to stop, talks about him right in front of the boy. She has made up lots of whopper stories about both of us. She has more than just a negative attitude but is the biggest narcissist I have ever met.
After months of this weekly it has come to the point that the therapist is writing to the court to make her recommendations. She thinks Garrett has autism, ex freaked out, she thinks he should be re-evaluated, ex said no, so she said point blank, You are nothing but negative, you have put many things in to this child’s head, you are the poster example of parental alienation and you also need individual therapy! We have her printing it all up and on our next check in phone call going to throw it all out. All that we have on her, all she has done and we will see what happens. She has made claims and accusations but has no proof of anything. We do.
My husband has two boys from his previous marriage to the devil, lol, ok , a horrible closet drunk narcissist.
Quick back story, After they met the classic signs of abuse that of course he did not see, became apparent to his friends and family, isolation, guilt trips, controlling, after awhile got control of all the money, threw away all his hobbies ( train collections and most of his music stuff) when they moved in together. At one point he was fed up and was going to leave and she “accidentally ” forgot to take her birth control got pregnant and David being who he is stayed. After married for 2 years he had his own bedroom, after the two boys started to grow up, she would chase him away down to the basement to his work space and kept the boys in her bedroom all the time. They did not go outside ever cause they would get “stolen,” David was not allowed to have a smart phone or any computers, he was not allowed on family trips, you get the point. Every night she would pass out drunk, at first he put her to bed but then just left her, she made fun of him in front of the kids, they told me when we first met, “dad was not allowed to help with homework because he was to stupid, “. This he put up with for ten years, he did not see or talk to his family, only left the house to work, and was miserable but says he was scared to leave her alone with the boys till they were older.
After we got together I started making him stand up to her, stopping her from dropping the kids off late, picking them up early, planning things on his visit days, she hated it, and me. She did everything to turn them against him, told them him and I had an affair, ( one example) and she succeeded turning the oldest to hate him. He is now 13, is diagnosed with ADHD but seems more autistic really, still calls them mommy and daddy, slept in her bed till he was 12, does not make friends easy having personal space issues I guess. He only eats chicken nuggets and fries and a few more other things, will not try anything new unless it’s a video game. Will not play sports, will not go anywhere with out his mother, she goes on all field trips, takes him to his one friends house and has to stay for a few minutes to make sure he wants to stay, he will have complete mental breakdowns screaming, crying, hides under things and smacks himself in the head. He stopped talking to us first, then would not eat her because we were gross, brought a sleeping bag and slept in his clothes and shoes. This was two nights a month. His visits were, sat at 9 till Sunday at 4 every other weekend at first cause he lived with a roommate and the boys were not very comfortable there. Then he got Wed nights from after school till 8. She will not compromise at all, if he can’t pick them up on time, she gets mad, if he misses a day because of work she will not let him have a different one, if he drops them off 5 min late she flips.
The younger one comes as much as possible and we have a great relationship with him, the older one does not even speak to us never mind come over. We have court appointed therapy now and the therapist is blown away by the amount of parental alienation and consistent lack of concern for her kids his ex shows , she refuses to let the therapist see the boy alone. She says things constantly she should not right in front of the boy. It breaks my heart because I know he is never going to be able to be a normal or even somewhat normal kid. He has an unnatural attachment to his mother. It is the worst thing anyone can do to a child. We need to remember our relationship, our lives, our problems are not our children’s! My husband lost a son and two boys are in mental states that will need a lot of fixing as they grow up, because of this horrific woman.
My heart shatters more every day I do not have contact with my grandchildren. Their mother uses them as pawns and anyone who she gets mad at for any reason she takes them from. She has told them that their father does not love them and he picked his beer over them. I can’t bear to imagine what she told them about me!!! She is a horrible person and I do not say that often about people but I have been trying to put together a case for grandparents rights. They lived with me for over a year, always would run to me open armed and we had a very strong bond. Now it has been almost a YEAR since I have seen them and I just can’t believe it! She knows how much they love me , she knows everything but just doesn’t care. She puts herself before them and always has. She lost her first child to the father and if I bring all this stuff to court and they ask me I would take them in a heart beat. Even with all my issues I know those babies need someone to stand up for them. This week my little pickle will be 4 years old. I missed her whole 3 year , almost of time I can never get back. I’m so scared to actually loose them . I know I have been holding back because I am scared I would loose but I need to believe they would be better with me in there lives than not.
Reading a recent post from someone I admire made me realize I had not posted about my dog since we adopted him. Atlas was a rescue from Florida, very small and long with a head too big for his body when we met him, but he was our kind of crazy, so he became one of us. Bassadors are half Bassett hound and half Labrador, so short legs, long body! Bassett hounds are the most stubborn to train and he is almost two and still chews everything!!!He hates his nails being cut so has ripped one pair of my bed sheets running around going crazy and my hardwood floors have suffered the most!
At the same time with all the stress comes the love and unconditional friendship, he makes me feel safe when my husband is away, he has helped me with getting outside more and being able to leave the house easier on my own. He is ours and we may never be done with his training but he wants to learn and he seems happy.
I have two biological boys, one is in college and the other is 16 , Branden, and lives at home with me and David. I have always counted on him to be the responsible one, he was the common sense of the two, I sent him with his older brother and friends so I knew they would be safe. He is polite, empathetic and cares for everyone. The only things I have ever been able to complain about with him has been his grades in school and his inability to keep his room clean. I know I caused most of his cleaning issues myself by getting tired of waiting or thinking he was doing something wrong, and doing it myself. I also know I always just pushed them to pass, not to do their best, I know everything we do and say to our kids or in front of our kids forms the adult they become.
Today I was hit with seeing my son was high. He had three friends over, I know they do not have the option to hang out other than school together, my son NEVER asks for anything, literally he has to think for days to tell me birthday and Xmas things he wants, so when he does ask I usually say yes, hence the three boys over. He openly told me one of them smokes pot and asked me if I would tell him he could not be friends with him, we had a discussion on pot then. No , his friend does not offer it to him, no , he is not stupid he saw what it did to his brother, he would not get in a car with someone but call me instead, etc, etc, etc. All the same things he has said most of his life. Then he went outside with his friends later that day and got high.
I am feeling so many things and I have a ball of emotions growing bigger by the minute growing inside my gut. I know teens try drugs , usually though it is because they are either , trying to fit in or because they are unhappy and it is a release.
I feel betrayed like I do not even know him, I feel lied to and played like a piano. I have the pamphlets and all the information on how to talk to your kids about drugs and how to tell if your child is high and so on, but , none of them prepared me for this.
I feel lost, I do not know how to handle this.
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