Tag: well-being

Posted in my thoughts

Thoughts….everywhere

Posted on by queentracey1

I look at the other blogs I find and follow and see so much wisdom and beauty in pictures and words and also so much pain. I feel like a sponge always searching for more to absorb in self- health, metal and emotional health and sometimes I have so much to say that I can not say a word.

I have lived through every kind of abuse as I climbed up the ladder to mental health. I have had a “normal” childhood but found myself one screwed up person. I have grandkids who deserve so much better than what they have and live each day knowing to save them I would have to loose them due to my health not being good enough to care for them myself. But, is that just what I tell myself? Is it really me using my health as a crutch? Is my health even as bad as I think it is or have I just convinced myself it is?

I procrastinate like crazy, I would even say I am lazy. At times I do nothing and accomplish nothing in my day. My life changed completely finding my soulmate and he loves me as I am. He works his butt off to give me all he thinks I should have. I have survived but never actually lived. I was a hobbit only leaving my house when I had to, but was it because I was just to lazy to take a shower and care to a point about my appearance? I did this for years, I mean like ten years of wasted life.

I have so much to explore in mental health still. I know we can never stop growing inside and have found I actually enjoy psychology and reading about just how we work as people.

I also have piles of stuff and pages of ideas of things I want to make and create. My house is still not together yet. We are always working on it. At this time I have no kitchen. So much but at the same time nothing.

This is me today.

Posted in my thoughts, Parents, Shared, tips & tricks, Uncategorized, WOW Stuff

Bipolar

Posted on by queentracey1

If you have followed me for a bit you would here now and again about my best friend who has bipolar. We have gone through her manias, people taking advantage of her in her manic state, and her multiple manic episodes in the past year. I have learned a lot by reading and talking to people about the illness. My girl went ten years with out an episode but then her father died and started a roller coaster of episodes. When her baby daddy died it just got worse and it has been not only hard on her but her three boys as well.

This time is the depression and it is completely new to me, I have never had any experience with this and it’s pretty scary. I went to check on her and she is not her, lost weight, staring off and not really even answering any questions or acknowledged I was there. She went in to the hospital last night and her dr was supposed to come in and see her this morning to give her a shot of some kind to help her come out of it. I can’t imagine how hard it must be for her kids to have to see her going through this.

Posted in my thoughts, Parents

Change

Posted on by queentracey1

If I looked back a few years or more the person you would see would not be me. From physical, mental and emotional abused relationships always with narcissist men , to realizing I needed to change myself for my kids sake and then the journey back to being at peace( mostly) with my self, I have come a long way. I still think of the years I spent hiding inside my safety of home and letting life just slip by. I wasted years and years like that. I still would rather be in my house but I love myself now so it’s different. It’s not easy asking for help, getting into therapy and staying with it but I know with out a doubt it saved me. I still deal with narcissist people, and I try to remember they really are not doing it intentionally, or don’t even realize they are but it is not easy.

Posted in my thoughts, Parents, Uncategorized

Things that make you go, HHHMMMMM!

Posted on by queentracey1

When you see a woman walking around with a dark bra on and a light shirt and you think, wow, I can’t believe people act like that.Then, you are running late for an appointment one day and just throw on some clothes, later while in the waiting room or were ever you realize, you have on a black bra and light-colored shirt…HHHMMMMM.

You can not believe it when you see a little kid about 6 or even 8 at the bus stop getting himself off and crossing the streets then walking himself home and you think, wow, where are his parents? Why isnt anyone here to get him off the bus, that poor kid is probably always neglected like that…Then, you are running late getting to the bus stop and your child ends up walking himself home…. HHHMMMMM.

Posted in my thoughts

BIG BUSINESSES, Do they care for the employees?

Posted on by queentracey1

As some of you may know, I work for a multi-million dollar company in Augusta, Maine. I have for 6 or so months now. Since I have been there not once has the air conditioner in the whole store worked. It works in half the store and then on the side that does not work we have a fan and the air that comes in from the rest of the mall.I have heard many stories since I started, someone stole the copper from the system on the roof, it only works in the winter time, the store is hurting so they are saving money by turning it off…. At what point does a multi-million dollar company worry about us little employees? They have allowed us to carry our water bottles around with us now and have made a few extra brakes available when needed, but, will it take someone being taken out in an ambulance like JCPenny in Augusta Maine for them to fix it, isn’t the employees health a concern to them or are we that replaceable? It makes me question big businesses. It makes me wonder, do they not care customers are complaining?,Do they not care how miserable it makes it for us to work efficiently, ? I remember a time when the employer cared for the employee and cared for the concerns of them. When did it change? When did we become so replaceable that we were allowed to work with sweat running down our faces and it was ok? What happened to BIG BUSINESS???