Posted in my thoughts, Parents, Psychology, self-help, tips & tricks, Uncategorized, WOW Stuff

Injection form of suboxen?


www.sublocade.com/

Now for you who do not know, suboxen is a small film medication that you put under your tongue to dissolve and is used to treat opioid addiction. It stops the ability to feel the effects of opioids, stops withdrawals and helps with urges for opioids.

It started in a hexagon shaped orange colored pill form and comes in, 2,4 and 8 mg. ( I believe that is all but don’t quote me) When companies or agencies realized that people had started crushing and snorting it to get a high like effect, a contradiction to its use, they had to rethink it. It sold quick and easy on the streets and they all were exactly the same with No way to trace them back to the original prescription owner. They made a generic that was not as strong and from what I remember didn’t stay long. I think they turned that into the subutex, a form given to pregnant woman that would help with cravings and withdrawals but not be as harmful to the baby. If one did too much suboxen they would nod off, or fall asleep, pass out, doze off, etc,etc,etc,

Then they made the film form, something that as far as I know, there is no way to exploit so it worked for its needs except they still were able to sell films on the street, in Maine the street value of suboxen is usually $1.00 a milligram, some people double it. Now the films come in little envelope type squares with a cut up in the corner so you could rip it open, they also have bar codes and batch numbers, making it easier to trace and check to make sure the envelopes all matched the batch they were supposed to be in and to the person they were supposed to be prescribed to, that made it a very minor harder to sell but not much..

So, now we have this once a month injection thing coming out. That will definitely help with the doing more than prescribed or selling issues, but, it’s still addicting and still just another form of suboxen. Not really going to help with the opioid crisis.

I have been a recovering addict for 13 years, on suboxen, after a roughly 2 or 3 year affair of drug use. I literally started at the bottom on a 500 mil of Vicodin’s and went up from there, never booted though. I had my limits and the whole thing started with prescribed pain medications for myself, then I lost my doctors, so I was introduced to a whole new world. Being a single mother, you will do what ever it takes to be able to care for your kids, never mind the consequences.The withdrawals from the suboxen are worse than from the pills and my body is weak with my Addison’s disease it makes them deadly for me. I will be able to get off it someday. I am down to 2 mg a day. , and have been stuck at that amount for 5 years. I am tired of it.

Posted in My Photos of Maine, my thoughts, organized, photography

Alcoholic


My step son from my first marriage is an alcoholic. He hit his bottom and spend 6 months in jail. Now he is here living with us as he begins his journey of sobriety, becomes a better man and father , to find his inner strength to fight the girl who devastated him from the inside out and then took his kids away from him. This is not just him riding on it all but his kids as well.

At the same time my husband and I struggle to support four people, two vehicles and a house on just his income and my raising medical co pays.

The dr has been trying to change my medications to lower the amounts and help me with my complete lack of vocabulary, inability to think and articulate and organize, and so on and so on. The motivation is the only good thing come out of it so far.

Posted in My Photos of Maine, my thoughts, Parents, Uncategorized

Devastated


My heart is on fire with grief, guilt is taking over, my responsibility to my loved ones who counted on me has been betrayed. I opened the door, I let my beautiful girl outside at night and then left her out side when I went to bed. I killed my best friend. My precious girl, she was an angel, she was the most well behaved animal I have even had the pleasure of meeting. She didn’t get up on things or rip things, she never ever not used her litter box. She was very simple and happy. She deserved so much better. She was only 7. I can not forgive God anymore, he has taken so much from me, I don’t need to be stronger! I don’t need to endure anymore great pain! I have had so much pain in my life. I mean, cmon, my Adrenal Glands were so over used by the time I hit my 20 that they quit at 22! Not deformed or any other reason, they were just exhausted! I understand a lot of the things that have happened in my life and I even understand the reason behind them and I did need to learn to be stronger and I was. But I have lived through it, I beat the pain, I saved myself and my kids from all the abuse and I made myself into the person I am now. I beat cancer. I have over come and have my rewards for my troubles. I have the most perfect man for me that could ever be, we have our quirky house, and we have our boys. Yes, his ex is still mentally and emotionally abusing his two and my grandkids are in a horrible situation but we are dealing, Day by day. How could anyone possibly thing I didn’t still need her! How could anyone think I could just get up and move on with out my shadow? She has been next to me every day since she could walk. She was my sunshine, my happiness and my baby.

Myah May Lee August 2011-August 2018

WhaT is all this about August? She was born and then God took my only 2 best friends ever in August?