I am full of things to say today! Lol
As the seasons change, so does my pain. In the summer it hurts when it rains, in the winter it hurts as it gets colder, but the pain is still the same, pain. The winter pain spreads in more places, and seems to be lot more often, it’s harder to get past then summer pain. I can get up and move to get rid of summer pain but winter pain just gets a little easier to bare. It’s strange, it’s the same pain, just different.
Humans are entirely different creatures and creations then weather and seasons but they all effect us in many ways. Before getting into medicine my son used to say I was crazy when I said it was the weather making me hurt , now he just says I’m crazy! Lol
I have written this poem in different ways since my boys were born to include the times and situations. I sent this with my son to have in his apt , he knows it’s just a , makes mom feel better thing! Lol I can’t believe how fast time has gone, my youngest is 16 and 6 feet tall and my first born is getting ready to go to Med school!
I feel old!!!
I just want to express my frustration, seems everything I do is a quote .
I use my app and it is outdated, deleted and reinstalled, nope still the same. If I go to the site on a browser then I have my updated categories and things , I have continued to battle this but I realize at the moment the site looks horrible so,
Please bare with me.
For 12 years, maybe 15 I have been doing suboxen because I became addicted to opioids. I have health issues and they told me all the time, (the dr’s )that my body could not handle detox that it would kill me. I died the day I did my first drug. I am tired of it, I don’t want to do this anymore.
I can’t keep dealing with the shame of being an addict. My husband has never even hit a joint! For real! He doesn’t understand at all but he is trying. I cut down to 2 mg months ago and for the past two day I have been doing one. It is not in my head, the lack of energy, the lack of motivation, I also have more pain than normal but I can think that away with the weather. I have to trick myself into not being affected by this. I need to know what it is like to feel normal, but with my Addison’s I won’t ever, so how normal can I get?
I need to sleep. I’m so tired. Igo through fazes of not sleeping and last night I woke up and could not go back to sleep and I need to sleep. I am supposed to get 10-12 hours with my illnesses. I have to break that now before it really starts or it will be so much harder .
My son, the pre Med one, he knows all about it and he just says, mom who cares, u r not an addict, I think you should just leave it alone. But, I still feel it. I want so bad to change. I need to not have soo many regrets and not wish I had done this and that. I will not be ever to just travel if I am still on this crap. I will accomplish one big thing in my life besides my kids, even if it is the only think I ever do.
Laws of attraction, God, Angels, the universe, which ever one you believe in, please help me. Please.