Tag: ME

Posted in grief, my thoughts, photography, Psychology

My world

Posted on by queentracey1

I feel like I was robbed, like someone reached inside my body and stole my heart as well as my ability to breathe, think , move!

My husband was perfect, we had a love that was epic. We were together 6 years, 3 months and 9 days.

We started texting in October 2016. Our first date was December 31, 2017. We got engaged in February, bought a house in March and was married in October 2017. He was my everything, my husband, my soulmate, step father to my children,

We never had a fight, barely ever argued. For real. He gave me everything I had ever dreamed of and more.

Posted in House Remodeling, My Photos of Maine, my thoughts, organized, Shared, Uncategorized, WOW Stuff

Granite in the wall?

Posted on by queentracey1

As we continue on in our renovations we decided to take the basement stairs down and remake them straight instead of with a turn.

We had to go through the concrete of the original house foundation and found it was packed with rocks! This made it very difficult to do so my husband had to rent a jack hammer!

My husband also finished taking down another spot since he had it already and that’s when I noticed a large piece set aside, he said he found it in the wall and it was granite!!!

It still has some brick stuck to it but I can only imagine how using granite would be cheap? I can see how the rocks would be, any market out there for rocks hundreds of years old!! Lol

Next we will rebuild these stairs to go straight down, then the second story stairs can be done the same way.

It’s such a slow process but it is coming along.

Posted in My Photos of Maine, my thoughts, photography, Shared, tips & tricks, Uncategorized, WOW Stuff

Meet My Pet

Posted on by queentracey1

•Hi! My name is: Atlas
•My nickname is: Pup-pup,
•My breed: Bassador ( half bassist hound and half black lab) my head and most of my body is lab but I have teeny tiny little legs!
•My age is: 4 years old
•My favorite humans are: daddy, momma, the neighbors, any kid, my brothers,
•My biggest fear: not getting any attention
•My favorite thing to do: dig! Sleep in strange ways, run run run, play with my friends Blu and Fin, talk ,watch my neighbors, stand on my head and talk like Chewbacca
•What I hate the most: when no one wants to play
•Where do I sleep? In my chair or on the couch or in my bed or anywhere that keeps me next to mommy and daddy
•Do I love car rides? Ride! Ride! Ride!
•Do I snore? No I just like to sleep in lots of positions!

I was supposed to be full grown when I came here, surprise!

Posted in House Remodeling, My Photos of Maine, Shared

New addition done, kinda

Posted on by queentracey1

First we had to do the foundation for an addition, then a new bulkhead door , then the room addition.

The new room will be my new laundry room. The old laundry room will be a new bathroom and the old bathroom will become a walk through from the kitchen to the laundry room. It will have double glass doors that will go to new deck. We have half the deck done at the moment that we did while waiting for the cement guys to get the foundation done.

Before the addition but after the deck. once it’s done it will extent over to the bulk head .

Next year the second floor of the house is being removed and rebuilt with a different layout, a different roof line and the addition part will go up to become the master bath. We wanted to keep the house like it was but it had so many different builds with 3 roof lines we found inside, it had been added to 3 times and not always the proper way. It was built in 1914 so I’m sure they did what they could with what they had.

Posted in my thoughts, Parents, tips & tricks, Uncategorized, WOW Stuff

2 months????

Posted on by queentracey1

I had someone tell me the beginning of August that their dog was sick, acting funny and not eating. We went through checking this and that but my final advice was to take him to the vet.

Yesterday I talked to them again and they said he died! I was surprised and of course asked how? They said they had just made an appointment for the vets! It was some kind of infection they said.

Two months that poor dog was sick. I mean did he suffer? Was he in pain? How could they neglect him that long like that? It broke my heart to hear that. Now my thought was to call someone for they still have 5 other dogs! I don’t think there is anyone though. We don’t have animal control here. I’m conflicted. What do you think???

Posted in my thoughts, organized, Parents, Shared

High Risk

Posted on by queentracey1

People are just being crazy , buying out toilet paper? I mean, really??? Yup, that is what the virus is like here in Maine. I live in a country area out side a small city, about an hour drive to a major city. As of this being written we had 52 confirmed cases of the Coronavirus in the state. I never went out much so staying home is easy for me but my husband works for the railroad, so he has to work to make sure things people need get to where they are needed.

I am a high Risk with my autoimmune so every time he leaves the house we worry about when he gets home. The railroad is not going to inform the rest of the guys if one of them gets sick even though a lot of the guys have high risk wives, the Union is working on that but I don’t see it happening. The majority of guys are carrying Lysol wipes with them to wipe down the controls before their shifts. We have wipes in every room so he comes in the back door using a Lysol wipe to open and close the doors and goes directly into the bathroom which is right next to the black door, takes off his clothes and puts them in a bag and takes a shower. Then puts the clothes in the laundry.

I feel guilty that my family is suffering more from this because of me, my son can’t go to his girlfriends house, she has lots of siblings and is still going to the gym as I write this. I know he is mad and says she knows what she is doing but, it would only take that one missed spot or something.

I don’t know if it’s enough or if it’s too much? I know I am scared, I know the thought of leaving my husband and my sons all with out me worries and scares me. I have known for over 20 years that this one little pill is what kept me alive. I know at one point I though God was cruel giving me something that I could not just sleep for days with, that I had to get up and face the world long enough to eat and take my pills, which means I’m awake now. This is on a whole new level now though, I could die if I leave my house and come across someone sick or something else that has germs from the sick on it. I try to keep updated with real information and just hope it blows over very soon!

Posted in My Photos of Maine, my thoughts, organized, photography

Alcoholic

Posted on by queentracey1

My step son from my first marriage is an alcoholic. He hit his bottom and spend 6 months in jail. Now he is here living with us as he begins his journey of sobriety, becomes a better man and father , to find his inner strength to fight the girl who devastated him from the inside out and then took his kids away from him. This is not just him riding on it all but his kids as well.

At the same time my husband and I struggle to support four people, two vehicles and a house on just his income and my raising medical co pays.

The dr has been trying to change my medications to lower the amounts and help me with my complete lack of vocabulary, inability to think and articulate and organize, and so on and so on. The motivation is the only good thing come out of it so far.

Posted in My Photos of Maine, my thoughts, Parents, Uncategorized

Devastated

Posted on by queentracey1

My heart is on fire with grief, guilt is taking over, my responsibility to my loved ones who counted on me has been betrayed. I opened the door, I let my beautiful girl outside at night and then left her out side when I went to bed. I killed my best friend. My precious girl, she was an angel, she was the most well behaved animal I have even had the pleasure of meeting. She didn’t get up on things or rip things, she never ever not used her litter box. She was very simple and happy. She deserved so much better. She was only 7. I can not forgive God anymore, he has taken so much from me, I don’t need to be stronger! I don’t need to endure anymore great pain! I have had so much pain in my life. I mean, cmon, my Adrenal Glands were so over used by the time I hit my 20 that they quit at 22! Not deformed or any other reason, they were just exhausted! I understand a lot of the things that have happened in my life and I even understand the reason behind them and I did need to learn to be stronger and I was. But I have lived through it, I beat the pain, I saved myself and my kids from all the abuse and I made myself into the person I am now. I beat cancer. I have over come and have my rewards for my troubles. I have the most perfect man for me that could ever be, we have our quirky house, and we have our boys. Yes, his ex is still mentally and emotionally abusing his two and my grandkids are in a horrible situation but we are dealing, Day by day. How could anyone possibly thing I didn’t still need her! How could anyone think I could just get up and move on with out my shadow? She has been next to me every day since she could walk. She was my sunshine, my happiness and my baby.

Myah May Lee August 2011-August 2018

WhaT is all this about August? She was born and then God took my only 2 best friends ever in August?

Posted in kids and crafts and more!!!, Shared, tips & tricks, WOW Stuff

Create a Lovely Set of Seashell Golden Glow Necklaces — Imagine Blog

Posted on by queentracey1

by Roni Johnson It’s fun to walk along the beach and pick up the shells that have washed ashore. It’s even more fun to take those shells and create a lovely piece of jewelry to hold those fond summer memories for months and years to come. Skill: Intermediate Time: 3 hours + dry time […]

via Create a Lovely Set of Seashell Golden Glow Necklaces — Imagine Blog