Posted in House Remodeling, kids and crafts and more!!!, My Photos of Maine, my thoughts, organized, Parents, photography, Psychology, Reviews, self-help, Shared, tips & tricks, Uncategorized, WOW Stuff

Everything’s a Quote!


I just want to express my frustration, seems everything I do is a quote .

I use my app and it is outdated, deleted and reinstalled, nope still the same. If I go to the site on a browser then I have my updated categories and things , I have continued to battle this but I realize at the moment the site looks horrible so,

I’m sorry!!!!

Please bare with me.

🙏

Thank you.

Tracey

Posted in my thoughts, Psychology, Shared, tips & tricks, Uncategorized, WOW Stuff

This Gruesome, Disturbing Story Will Convince You To Stop Accepting Airdropped Photos


This Gruesome, Disturbing Story Will Convince You To Stop Accepting Airdropped Photos

This Gruesome, Disturbing Story Will Convince You To Stop Accepting Airdropped Photos
— Read on thoughtcatalog.com/holly-riordan/2019/06/this-gruesome-disturbing-story-will-convince-you-to-stop-accepting-airdropped-photos/

Posted in kids and crafts and more!!!, My Photos of Maine, Parents, Psychology

The therapist


My husband and his older son have been going to see a therapist, at different times because he “hates” him. His ex refuses to let him go in a lone , she even after being asked and told multiple times to stop, talks about him right in front of the boy. She has made up lots of whopper stories about both of us. She has more than just a negative attitude but is the biggest narcissist I have ever met.

After months of this weekly it has come to the point that the therapist is writing to the court to make her recommendations. She thinks Garrett has autism, ex freaked out, she thinks he should be re-evaluated, ex said no, so she said point blank, You are nothing but negative, you have put many things in to this child’s head, you are the poster example of parental alienation and you also need individual therapy! We have her printing it all up and on our next check in phone call going to throw it all out. All that we have on her, all she has done and we will see what happens. She has made claims and accusations but has no proof of anything. We do.

Posted in my thoughts, Psychology

Addison’s and Addiction


My suboxen weening process has been going great still. I need to get to another endocrinologist since my other one closed the office last minute, like literally. They called Monday to remind me of my appointment on Thursday, then called Wednesday to say the office closed for good??? Ok. Soooo, my primary is not sure how to deal with anything other than the normal monitoring of my levels.

I am still only taking 1 mg a day and still terrified to go down any more.

Posted in kids and crafts and more!!!, my thoughts, Parents, Psychology

My heart shatters more every day I do not have contact with my grandchildren. Their mother uses them as pawns and anyone who she gets mad at for any reason she takes them from. She has told them that their father does not love them and he picked his beer over them. I can’t bear to imagine what she told them about me!!! She is a horrible person and I do not say that often about people but I have been trying to put together a case for grandparents rights. They lived with me for over a year, always would run to me open armed and we had a very strong bond. Now it has been almost a YEAR since I have seen them and I just can’t believe it! She knows how much they love me , she knows everything but just doesn’t care. She puts herself before them and always has. She lost her first child to the father and if I bring all this stuff to court and they ask me I would take them in a heart beat. Even with all my issues I know those babies need someone to stand up for them. This week my little pickle will be 4 years old. I missed her whole 3 year , almost of time I can never get back. I’m so scared to actually loose them . I know I have been holding back because I am scared I would loose but I need to believe they would be better with me in there lives than not.

Posted in my thoughts, Parents, Psychology, self-help

I am DONE being an addict


For 12 years, maybe 15 I have been doing suboxen because I became addicted to opioids. I have health issues and they told me all the time, (the dr’s )that my body could not handle detox that it would kill me. I died the day I did my first drug. I am tired of it, I don’t want to do this anymore.

I can’t keep dealing with the shame of being an addict. My husband has never even hit a joint! For real! He doesn’t understand at all but he is trying. I cut down to 2 mg months ago and for the past two day I have been doing one. It is not in my head, the lack of energy, the lack of motivation, I also have more pain than normal but I can think that away with the weather. I have to trick myself into not being affected by this. I need to know what it is like to feel normal, but with my Addison’s I won’t ever, so how normal can I get?

I need to sleep. I’m so tired. Igo through fazes of not sleeping and last night I woke up and could not go back to sleep and I need to sleep. I am supposed to get 10-12 hours with my illnesses. I have to break that now before it really starts or it will be so much harder .

My son, the pre Med one, he knows all about it and he just says, mom who cares, u r not an addict, I think you should just leave it alone. But, I still feel it. I want so bad to change. I need to not have soo many regrets and not wish I had done this and that. I will not be ever to just travel if I am still on this crap. I will accomplish one big thing in my life besides my kids, even if it is the only think I ever do.

Laws of attraction, God, Angels, the universe, which ever one you believe in, please help me. Please.

Posted in my thoughts

She is choosing death for vanity


My best friend of 18 years is bipolar and it has been a roller coaster for the past few years. She had nothing happen for ten years and then her dad died, she started to fall some and then her baby daddy died and that was it. She is alone with two kids and has been in and out of the hospital with ups and downs for the past 2 years. Her most recent trip she met a guy right before going in. He is in his early 20 and she is in her mid 30 but doesn’t look it. She got pregnant, he is thrilled and she is not now that she has leveled out again. She just found out today that it is a girl and she is horrified, says she could only raise a nasty slut like her and has already decided the baby will be better off with out her. Then they tell her the placenta is over the birth canal so when she goes into labor she will bleed to death. She refuses to have a csection, says it will make her ugly and she can not take any opioids or will get addicted again. I told her there are other ways, they don’t prescribe opioids for nerve pain, it doesn’t matter what you did before but what you do after she is born, everything I can to talk her out of the negative. She doesn’t have a car anymore so is not seeing her councilor anymore. She says it is not fair to let her be cut for a kid she is not going to be in its life, so keep her, I can’t I will only end up being horrible to it and she will b just like me….. my head hurts, my heart hurts, I don’t know what else to say. She would rather die than be cut, and insist this baby will b horrible. I just feel so horrible and useless.

Posted in my thoughts, Psychology, self-help, Uncategorized

Living 30 min at a time


Scheduling my day , trying to decide what needs to be done. For anything involving my computer, like this, for example, reading or even driving, I have to do it 30 min at a time. My life feels like one long to do page, having to stand and move around so I don’t fall asleep. Can’t go anywhere over 30 min away. Can’t read any of the many, many, books I still want to read, unless it’s night and it’s ok to fall asleep.

Once I fall asleep and jolt awake again, I can try and try to get back my energy but it is gone for good for that day.

Is it horrible, yes it is. Is it a severe pain and makes me just want to cry the tears from all the way down in to my toes, yes, yes it does.

Living 30 minutes at a time

Can not sit , and let my mind go

Can not jump in the car and drive anywhere just because

I love to learn and I love to read

I loved when I used to feel more free

Now if I sit to long it sucks away my living

If I am up to long and do to much

I usually will have a price of pain to pay

Which way is up , which way is down

To be living instead of just surviving

Posted in kids and crafts and more!!!, my thoughts, Parents, tips & tricks, Uncategorized, WOW Stuff

Tornado named Atlas


Reading a recent post from someone I admire made me realize I had not posted about my dog since we adopted him. Atlas was a rescue from Florida, very small and long with a head too big for his body when we met him, but he was our kind of crazy, so he became one of us. Bassadors are half Bassett hound and half Labrador, so short legs, long body! Bassett hounds are the most stubborn to train and he is almost two and still chews everything!!!He hates his nails being cut so has ripped one pair of my bed sheets running around going crazy and my hardwood floors have suffered the most!

At the same time with all the stress comes the love and unconditional friendship, he makes me feel safe when my husband is away, he has helped me with getting outside more and being able to leave the house easier on my own. He is ours and we may never be done with his training but he wants to learn and he seems happy.