Posted in House Remodeling, my thoughts, Parents, Shared, Uncategorized

Cancer free


It is with great emotion that I tell you, I was recently diagnosed with cervical cancer. They immediately started on removing it. I had two different proceedings done and after my second , they say it’s all gone!

I am STILL remodeling my house, still planning a backyard wedding for October 14 and then this, I was more frustrated that I had to remain in bed for a week than anything else! Lol  it just never crossed my mind they would fail. I was just not worried, I new, I just had that feeling inside that it was all going to be ok and they would get rid of it all. I was in bed with no problems for the first three days, then on day four I moved around a bit, day five- more and on day 6 was put back to bed rest. Pushed it. Yesterday was day one week and I’m still trying to be easy but it’s so hard with everything else going on.

I still have a , I guess u could say, dormant mass inside my intestines that has just stayed there, not changing, not growing, not doing anything. It’s been there for a few years and the concern has always been with major surgery and how my body would handle it. This was not a major surgery but it was still pretty invasive, I think I handled it just fine. The Dr don’t want to mess with it if they don’t have to, I can see y.

I start with a new primary care next week and am very excited. I have been dealing with so much unknown that it’s got me frustrated, I’m hoping a new set of eyes will finally find me some answers.

Posted in kids and crafts and more!!!, My Photos of Maine, my thoughts, organized, Parents, Reviews, Shared, tips & tricks, WOW Stuff

Bar harbor wicker???



I have had this chair for almost 15 years and have not had time yet to fix the broken spots , yet, but wanted to know more about it. What kind of wicker , and when it may have been made. I got as far as that style and pattern matches some bar harbor chairs but nothing close to this? So, I’m asking out there if anyone knows anything about this chair??????

Posted in my thoughts, organized, Parents, Reviews, tips & tricks, WOW Stuff

Hopeless!!


That’s it I give up. I am going to just come out and confess that I am hopelessly in love with David! This man is like no other! He thinks of me first no matter what. He worries he will disappoint me, he makes something he’s doing harder for him so it’s easier for me. I have never really known anything like this. My life has been filled with men who are in one way or another abusive and to find one who is , whole, it’s amazing!! I find myself being embarrassed by his compliments and I have yet to become used to him opening doors and being so protective of me on the ice and snow. I know I lived a lot of my life sorting out myself by understanding my past but I have decided that I’m tired of looking behind me. I have discovered enough to feel as if I am capable of loving myself and others as I was meant to. I may not have learned it all but I think it’s enough. I don’t want to look behind me anymore. I have decided it’s time to look ahead at my future and how I want it to be. I also have decided that he is the one I want to do it with. The next two months will be packing and moving and unpacking as the process of closing the deal for the house starts and my new life will begin.

Posted in kids and crafts and more!!!, my thoughts, organized, Parents, Reviews, Shared, tips & tricks, Uncategorized, WOW Stuff

I do believe


Life is either 

A daring

Adventure 

Or nothing

At all……

               Helen Keller

I have put my faith, life, house, everything into a new state and am slowly changing more everyday. Now, with my health, and many other things of course in mind I have decided to live more by this motto. So, on October 14 2017, I am getting married to who I truly believe to be my soul mate. My blog may become more about wedding planing and moving but it won’t get boring for sure!!!

Posted in my thoughts, organized, Parents, Reviews, Shared, tips & tricks, Uncategorized, WOW Stuff

Empaths


https://www.psychologytoday.com/experts/judith-orloff-md

I have always known how sensation I was, how in tuned to my and others feelings but always thought it was just my medications. Lol. I found amazing information in this article. I have refined some already but still have a way to go I think to really be able to be at peace with my feelings. Anyone else feel like that?

Posted in Parents, Shared, tips & tricks, WOW Stuff

Advice??????


Some of you may have followed enough to know my health, my financial issues, my seemingly bad luck! Lol Well u may also have read my recent post about the new man I recently met.    

 It’s been three weeks since we started dated, 7 weeks since we started talking all together. He has been staying at my place with me most every other night. Once 3 nights in a row.

Since its the beginning of course I’m at that Google-eyed state and think he’s soo perfect. Lol. We do enjoy all the same types of things, have the same sense of humor, and both have been abused by past loved ones. 

So, here’s the problem, I have been noticing I’m not able to sleep when he is NOT here. Most of my adult life I couldn’t sleep if someone was there. When the storm came and I new he wouldn’t be able to come , he lives about half hour away, I instantly got a headache. I CRIED after I spent the 3 nights and a whole day and half with him and he had to go back to work. The next couple days he had a meeting and then his kids were coming so I new he wouldn’t be back for three days. 

I don’t understand how it is possible I am having physical issues when I can’t see him. That doesn’t seem normal!!!!!!!!! I wasn’t like this w my husband and I thought he was my soul mate. Aaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhh

Help me!!!

Posted in my thoughts, organized, tips & tricks, Uncategorized, WOW Stuff

Someday


Someday

Oh today I am all about someday!

I want, to have half less stuff, to continue having this wonderful man in my life, to have my health get better or at least not get worse.  I want to also come up with a stable income next to my child support, so when someday comes that the house is built enough to live in , we can move in and me not feel like I don’t contribute enough to pull my son’s and my weight.

Even thou cook, housekeeper, and companion is worth something!!! Maybe I should figure out how much that would be worth. lol. oh boy.

Someday my dreams will come true. I already feel like I have met my soul mate even if it has been only 6 weeks.

It’s amazing how much motivation finding someone who gets you can be.

Posted in my thoughts, Parents, photography, Uncategorized

And then he kissed me……


I have been through more then I feel I deserve and more than most could handle. I do believe everything happens for a reason but our lives are what we make of them. Some of you have been with me through enough to know what I mean. I am not sure if I have ever really known love, not motherly, not friendly but true knock your socks off love. 

In the beginning… lol. Had to do it… anyway. We all think in the first few months of a new relationship that they could be the one, we are soooo in love. Then for most people reality sets in and u still like what you have or not. 

Maybe it is when u least expect it. Maybe it is when u stop looking. Maybe, who knows. 

I knew him years ago when I dated his cousin. We started messaging back and forth, I wasn’t going to let him in. I was happy having a new friend to talk to. I cleaned out my friends sometime ago. 

I have been going on and on about changing myself for the better in the last what, 6 months or so, we have been Back, Forward and Back Again. I have been not only decluttering in my house but myself as well. I have had setbacks, was robbed, depressed, and then the holidays. 

Out of it I kept thinking, new years will b the start. I will start again on new years. I said, I am taking the jump and changing things. If u stay safe inside and not try anything, well, u don’t know what you could be missing.

I finally decided, it was time to take some chances. 

He said he would pick me up at 5. 

I have to admit I am doing the Googly eyed , swooning over his every word, can he be real, thing. Does he have a playbook on me or something? How does he know the right answers, he brought roses???, (wow). It’s only been 3 days. 3 DAYS!

WHAT HAVE I GOT MYSELF INTO!!! LOLOLOL. 

Posted in my thoughts, Parents, Shared, Uncategorized

Memories


Memories are what keep lost time and people alive in our minds and hearts. 

Pictures help memories become more real. 

Things and times we have forgotten become real and alive again. 

Sometimes, I don’t want to remember, sometime the pain that comes with the memory I don’t want, but I have to have the pain to have the memory. 

Pain of a dead weight on your chest burning as it becomes heavier and heavier. The memories rush through you like waves in the ocean. 

Was it worth it now that all we have left is the pain,…..

Posted in kids and crafts and more!!!, my thoughts, organized, Reviews, Shared, tips & tricks, Uncategorized

Who are you?


Who do you want to be?? I don’t mean mother, I don’t mean wife, what kind of, woman or man do you want to be???

One answer was from a woman who said she wanted to be worldly….

I started thinking and have not stopped. Adventuress ,  worldly, a leader, ……

I do not even know who I am nevermind who I want to be…

Lost, confused ,  totally unorganized 

That’s what my whole life revolves around, being unorganized ,  my thoughts, my projects, my house…..